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Old 22-12-2006, 11:17 AM
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anthony anthony is offline Gender Male
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Default Positive Affirmations Utilising Your Partner, Family or Friend

In conjunction with PTSD Self Esteem, a sufferer must build their self perception, or self esteem and confidence, though often people feel silly saying positive affirmations to themselves, or it takes them a lot longer in order to believe what they are telling themselves.

Lets use a little technique that basically what the military use in order to build self esteem. Introduce a third party. For soldiers, that third party is the military and the training, however; even soldiers lose self esteem after the fact from PTSD.

So lets use partners, family and friends to achieve what must be achieved. Instead of telling yourself positive affirmations, sit down with your partner and write a list of them, then have your partner tell you one over and over again throughout the day.

For example, positive affirmation "You are the most beautiful person I know." Have them tell you this when you wakeup, go to sleep, speak with them on the phone ending every conversation with this affirmation, and so forth. The only thing you must do, is acknowledge it, by saying "thankyou." Very easy ha?

This is a method in which we can skew the mind into believing whatever we need it to believe. If your told something enough, you believe it. For those of childhood abuse, just look at all the negatives you believe now. You have been constantly told your worthless, no good, you should be dead, etc etc etc... and the mind accepts these negatives readily, thus you believe them, hence you low self esteem.

The exact same thing can be done with positives, trust me, the military do it every day. When your told enough that your ten foot tall and bulletproof, you believe it. So instead of readily accepting negatives, get your partner, family member or friend to tell you daily, or better, multiple times per day, one positive affirmation. You must acknowledge it though by saying a positive in return, ie. "thank you" "yes I am" "I am beautiful, your right" etc etc. It must be a simple positive acknowledgement, nothing more. You ensure that the person giving you the positive affirmation knows that you must respond with a positive, not just try and turn the affirmation around onto the person giving it, ie. "you are the most beautiful person" reply: "and so are you" or "no, you are the most beautiful person I know" etc etc. If you don't just keep it simple and acknowledge the affirmation, then you begin to dismiss it, instead of accept it.

Change your affirmations every week, ie.
  • you are the most beautiful person I know
  • you are such a strong person
  • you are so intelligent and witty
  • you are an excellent teacher (insert specific role)
  • etc etc...
Do you notice how they begin: "you are" not variables such as "you should be a scientist" or things that are not simple, realistic and honest. "you are a great human being" is a very good one, which all it requires in reply is "thankyou" or even better "thankyou, yes I am".

Please employ these type tactics to help yourself build self esteem. It is a two way partnership in which this must be done in order to be effective. There is no reason why you cannot then return an affirmation to your partner or friend, increasing their self esteem at the same time, or simply helping your relationship along in a more positive direction.

People, it works, and if you don't do it, your only cutting yourself short of the life that lay awaiting you after PTSD.
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