Dictionary.com definition of listening:

1. To make an effort to hear something: listen to the radio; listening for the bell.
2. To pay attention; heed: She encouraged me to listen carefully to what country people called mother wit (Maya Angelou).

It is a proven fact that one of the most important steps to having good relationship at work, at home, and/or with friends... is to listen well.

Well, I'm sure you are already thinking...
I listen! It's me that doesn't get listened to!...

Don't worry if you are in as much denial as I was.
As far as I was concerned, every time I tried to explain my feelings to someone,
they just couldn't understand...
usually it ended with me crying or in a rage...
and the other person often very pissed at me.

But it doesn't have to be like this,
the more I researched œlistening,
the more I realized that I didn't practice active listening at all!
Often it was actually me and the way I was communicating with others that was causing the conflict!
Very hard pill to swallow!

In reality, for most people,
listening well is very difficult.
It's easier to talk than listen.

Plus, if you are a PTSD sufferer listening may be especially because it is easy to get distracted or lost in our own thoughts.
But I listen! You say, I'm the spouse/friend/partner/etc.!
Are you sure?
Check to see if you do any of the following while in conversation,
they are all signs of poor listening

• You find yours cutting people off and finishing their sentences.
• You find yourself distracted, tuned out, or thinking about other things while someone is talking to you.
• You interrupt people to give them advice or tell them what to do before they are done speaking.
• You listen only enough to decide what you will say in response. You are making your responses before the other person is done talking.
• Others may find you arrogant, impatient, or even uninterested.
• You hear from other people that you don't understand them.

Really listening means hearing more than just the words,
but also you understand their body language and mood.
It means asking questions and clarifying what you think you have heard.

• "Tell me more. Why do you think"?"
• "Why do you say that?"
• "What do you mean by?"

Also remember that confirming does not necessarily mean you agree with what has been said - it only means that you understand what was said.
This encourages the other person to keep an open mind when you respond with your own thoughts.

• "So, my understanding of your idea is?"
• "In other words what you're saying is?"
• "In other words?"

Reading body language means paying attention not only to what someone is saying,
but how they are saying it.
It will tell you if someone is happy or angry, tense or relaxed.
And if you aren't sure... just ask the person!
"You look upset. Is that correct?"
I know something like that wouldn't offend me.
Also you want to watch for:

• • Facial expression. Is the person smiling? Frowning? Looking confused? Is the person's face red?
  • Body posture. Are the person's shoulders tense or relaxed?
  • Breathing. If it is slow and regular (a sign they are relaxed) or in short tight breaths (a sign they may be tense)?

Your own body language sends out a message to others about whether you are listening to them.

• Try to:
  • Keep eye contact with other person to show you are interested in what is being said.
  • Nod to show you hear what is being said.
  • Keep your arms relaxed instead of crossed to show you are open to what is being said

Good luck to all!
And trust me,
If you start listening...
... The other person will usually do the same :thumbs-up

Excellent post YA! Gives me something to think about - I'm always jumping in to respond to people's coments before they finish their sentence - it's a defensive thing, I think. I always feel I have to justify myself to other people's expectations.