Anthony, havent spoken to his family but via police i was told he set out to suicide that day and it was his first successful attempt. So we can only take from that he had tried before (lucky me) the day of his funeral i was sent a message that his partner and his family were thinking about me. That must of been hard for them they wanted to make contact with me but i think it was to early for me. I couldnt deal with that at that time it was to close to the bone i had to much anger built up inside shit still do, i never had a angry bone in my body before that day but now it burns within. I still cant handle the thought of seeing his family because my anger still seeks some form of revenge. The anger issues i am dealing with in my therapy but its the revenge part that scares me he totaly f---ed up my life i had then, my psychiatrist dosent think it would be good at this time to talk to his family due to my anger but later on down the road if and when he is willing to supervise a meeting.

I think the opposite actually mate. Your right, "he" fu*ked up your life, not his family. Maybe, just maybe, seeing his wife and talking with her might just open that big emotional valve mate, so your system can just get it all out of you, break, cry, but its out and no longer sitting in anger.

Regardless of that mate, I think I can help you with your anger. You see, anger was was one my biggest problems also, and the way I found to heal that was actually from a trauma expert. You have most likely seen The Iceberg of Emotions already, and that is a very accurate depiction of our internal selves. Basically, once we find the emotions we feel, we put words to them, we can then tackle each one individually in order to cease feeding the emotional response of anger.

When you look at the list of emotions (.pdf printable one page), and you find the corresponding emotions that we feel, you then take each one and deal with it, one at a time, baby steps, but it works. I had years of anger within me, and when I actually realised what was feeding it, it took me very little time in order to heal knowing what I really felt.

I know it sounds touchy feely, but it works. Women do this genetically, something we males can take a leaf from their book.

Thanks Anthony instead of getting pissed with you i feel the need to hug you and say thanks mate. Not sure where thats coming from a bit to metro sexual for me, i do value your comments greatly and take them very much on board thanks once again. Cheers Rob