Hannah, your emotional self certainly shows the pain you are enduring from your marriage breakdown, more being your partner up and leaving you, with little to no ability of you seeing it coming. I can see that you are trying to see the more realistic path for yourself and your children, though your emotional self is certainly still struggling to come to terms with it all. The loss of a marriage is certainly nothing fun, and creates much pain from such an event, pain in which you must get out of you, not keep within. You are doing this across the forum in parts, but maybe holding some things in still. Just remember Hannah, you are doing extremely well at present with the load within your life, the circumstancs surrounding your marriage breakdown, and the more you keep talking it all out, the more you can analyse your own self pain.

With any marriage breakdown, it does take time to put the pieces back together again. I would recommend that if your not in your own counselling, then please get some weekly counselling to help you talk face to face with someone about all current emotional pain you suffer.

Thank you anthony for your words .... you are right this site has let me extol feelings and hidden emotions of my own as well as my marriage problems. I have been very confused but the fog is clearing for me. I am getting stronger. My husband has been such a good man and his behaviour is so out of charachter. He has the capacity to "compartmentalize" and I know him better than anyone .... I am convinced he is drowning a trauma and he does have a few to choose from.... I know from this site I cant help or control or indeed demand he faces it he has to do that.

Time is the word and I am going forward ... this site has been literally a life saver to me. I would like to thank all that have taken time to reply to my "vents" . Ill never forget the relief I found when other spouses were suffering the same symptoms. I wasnt strong enough to recognise the problems but I am now and hpoefully will fair better as the future unfolds.
thanks again.

Your always welcome Hannah...