I am really struggling. Abit of background about me is that I was sexually abused by my Dad quite badly and by my brother when I was very young and by a male babysitter, the second two not such a severe trauma as the first but still very nasty.

When I was nineteen I was attacked and raped and consequently became pregnant and had an abortion.

I have been ok but for the last two years I have been struggling a great deal. It was since I got married really. My husband is a marvellous man and has broken through all my boundaries and the intense love I share with him has left me very vulnerable.

It is since I have been so happy that I have become broken. Which is a bit of an ass really.

About two years ago I had a severe nervous breakdown and stopped all contact with my Dad. I was also signed off work for a long time. I went back to work after about six months but then became ill again.

I evantually resigned and took six months off. I have recently started work again and am very happy in my work. It is much less stressful than my original job and I am really enjoying it.

Unfortunatley this weekend for the first time in over nine months I have suffered from massive panic attacks and had severe bouts of anger.

My best friend has been staying with me for the last week since she has just started remembering abuse from her own childhood.

Is it this that has made me ill or is it that I can't cope with working?

What should I do?

This doesn't sound like a work issue to me. It sounds like your freind being over has just increased your symptoms. you still have healing to do. Everytime you get a 'reminder' of your trauma your symptoms will spike up and depending on how much healing you have done, will determine how bad your symptoms are. (like mine for example are outrageous as i need to do a lot of healing yet.) I would look at what you are doing to actively heal your trauma and manage your symptoms.

bec

(you may want to limit how much time you spend with this freind for a bit if it's too much for you)

ohh, yes, that's probably your friend causing that, not on purpose, of course,are they staying with you, or just visiting? you've got to get some peace there, so you can start to heal.
cathy

Did this come about after your friend has come over and began raising their own issues to yourself?