Did a simple edit, moved the information and made note in original post.

SS: i realize this may be a bit embarrassing but it's good to see the whole picture. that way true healing can happen.

The responsiblity is on both sides. not just his and not just yours. he has ptsd and you have some .. ummm ... issues (not being rude here.. but the word i wanted just poofed right out of my head.) He has healing to do and so do you.. the sad thing is that this situation has added a lot of greif and pain to both sides.

I do agree with Paul that just because he has PTSD does not mean he doesn't have a right to be treated fairly or like an adult or with some respect for that matter. PTSD is not the be all end all excuse to sponge off responsiblity nor is it an excuse for your behaviours or actions. Two way street right?

I think this is a great BEGINNING to start really talking and healing, whether seperate or alone for both of you.

bec

*i want to add for the benefit of the other spouses: this situation is the type that gets our gander up about responsiblity.. many of you have noticed by now that we are very touchy about this issue.. and this type of situation is why. when ptsd is used as an excuse for ALL the relationship issues when there are other underlying issues, we tend to get pissy (and no we don't tend to deal with it well when not healed either.. i am the first to admit to that one) so this is a balancing act for all parties involved...*

I must agree with you on that well written post Bec, in that too often only one side of the story is presented, and the important bits left out. Well, the important pieces have now been added to this thread, so some no BS healing can be done. Lets be honest here... if this information where presented in my life, I would pretty much walk out on you also for those acts. You cheated on him the moment you engaged serious flirting with other men that you knew was compromising, let alone what else happened. Trust diminished in that relationship, and that is your doing SS how I see it.

SS,


marriage is a two way street for those involved. I am not making judgements for either side not knowing what the true situation is.

Marriage is a partnership that requires trust, honesty and love. Without those things it will likely fall apart.

No one is perfect. Everyone has some kind a problem. Don't let a challenge (problem) be the excuse to exit the situation. Take responsibility for your own actions/likewise he takes responsibility for his.

Best of luck to you & yours

Take Care

D (wildcritter)