Not sure how else to put that. Other than sleeping for three hours at a time for a day (and only being up for an hour) for around a day and a half.. my anxiety, ibs, anger etc.. is not going down.. I just start to come down and WHAM, i get triggered again, then again, then again. I am sooo exhausted. I'm not sleeping again. I'm still barely eating. UGH. I need to try and reduce something here.. and I'm really not sure what.. I've been ignoring the phone and/or not going anywhere (unless it's food related or my best freinds house) to reduce being aggravated by others, I've tried tempting myself with every kind of food I can think of.. I've tried making myself interested in things that normally work when I'm a mess (they are not working)... umm HELP.

bec

Hi beca, have you tried doing relaxation therapy, like listening to soft music and lying on top of your bed, and just drift off into a place that is safe for you. Like a Beach on a Summers day, with the Palm trees swaying in the breeze.
That sometimes works, give it a try.
Cheers
Scott

Bec, I beg to differ, more like your just having a moments loss of clarity. To come down bec takes time, its not an instant thing. When you begin looking for ways to find down, you begin also creating more stress for yourself because you are telling yourself more negative things about yourself, ie. what is wrong with me, why I can't just come out of this, etc etc. The answer is to calm down, stop putting so much pressure upon yourself to come down, and just relax, allow your mind to just ease its way out of its current state of confusion, not try and force it out.

Bec, you have been through a lot recently so I really agree with above. It is like a panic attack you try to control it and push it away. But we all know fighting to control it adds more stress and we in turn make the panic even worse instead of going with it and let it happen without fear of it. You are putting too many expectations on yourself to bounce back quickly. You will bounce back, it just is sometimes a slow bounce. Accept how you feel right now and know there is nothing wrong with you, it is normal for you under those circumstances and it is OK. Before you know it when you accept it and know this just how it is the less demanding you will be on yourself. Less demanding on yourself and accepting you are the easier it will be to get your bearings back. I have a book that discusses bad inner dialouge vs good inner dialouge. Now when I read it (again) recently I caught some areas that I really did not think I was being hard on myself but I saw it was in the bad self talk and took notes to have on hand to remind me how to switch it up. It seems to help if I don't tell myself I SHOULD... I should be eating, resting right, not be angry... And say it is OK to be sleeping weird, having a flashback, be angry, not hungry... I accept it then and it eases. Sorry long winded.

i don't have a clue how to help, but know that i am praying for you, and He does.
cathy

Yep that makes complete sense. I am driving myself nuts over it.. (well and everyone around me here too, LOL) and haven't given myself permission to just go with it. Funny I get disability but I'm still trying to force myself back up as fast as possible to "recover". Soooo, will work on giving myself permission to just go with the flow and recover whenever my body says so..

Funny, V, I never thought of that as negative thinking and I've been trained in it! Just goes to show you can not be your own therapist! LMAO...

Thanks for the well wishes guys..

bec

I wanted to add that I know I am putting a lot of pressure of myself to try and get certain things done. I want to start cooking supper on a regular basis, organizing my house, cleaning, etc.. but I can barely crawl out of bed and shower right now. sighs..

Bec, there are days I don't make it to the shower (feel asleep on the sofa so did not happen last night as I do night time to help me sleep). It is like I have so much room for what I can put myself out on. Today I put myself out on cooking, a backache from sleeping on the sofa, worried if little one would puke again, my son's attitude and being a general teen (he was being extra teenish today), reading with little one, and the whammy for the day... Calling the super evil ex so I could talk to my girl. I had to be nice. She was not home. I spent 2 or 3 hours to work up the nerve to call the asshole and hit panic mode when I did. Hubs looking at me saying he is amazed I could bite my tounge as I feel apart with a panic attack (but not as bad as they can be) after hanging up. And me wanting to scream you big fking ass why do you not even ask how your son is? How he is in the new school, move, is he still alive? I have a bath going now to force myself in.

But thing was when I was upset with myself about all of the simple things like clean and cook the worse I got and deeper in the sheets I dove. When I said I give, this is fine and this is just me and so be it. Well, I was able to cook. Able to read. Able to walk the dogs. The more I gave in to saying it is OK and gave myself permission the more I emerge. Now working and all that... Not yet, but I think it can happen.

There is nothing wrong with the teen to do a load of laundry and toss in a set or two of out fits for the younger one. Nothing wrong with sandwiches, no need to organize if you can find things for now (though organized just makes me feel better I just cannot stand to organize when people go undo). Just work on the shower and getting out of bed and be OK with that. It does help me if I pull myself out of jammies and force myself to dress for the day instead of just putting on antother pair of cozy clothes.

But you really nailed it, give yourself permission to be you. And if that is you in bed for a day or so or a week except for the absolute necessities so be it, embrace it and try to enjoy it. I don't beat myself up over the bad days and just take it as part of me and it is shorter lived.

Now looking in I may look like a selfish slob for a couple days, but if I try to force myself too hard to be productive I still end up unproductive and I feel like shit for it so it in turn lasts a lot longer. If I just say to hell with it and take my down time to just rest and take it as recovery without guilt I am back up a lot faster. You can make it through this round, just let yourself go through it.

Well, I gave myself permission and slept to no end. I even unplugged all my phones and locked my door (forcing everyone to piss off, LOL) I feel better sleep wise, but know I still have a bit to go.. giving myself permission sure made a difference. I'm not half as winging as I was two days ago.. thanks for the great advice! It worked wonders...

bec

Hmmmmmm, I must be getting some of it bec, cause I feel like shit today. O'well, life does that with PTSD I guess...

Hmm, i read the other thread.. didn't post in it as I have no experience that would help.. but.. take your own advice dear! Don't push yourself too hard, get rest when you can, etc.. etc...

*hugs*

I'm here if you need anything

bec