NO THERAPISTS FOR ME. i am open to insight from y'alls personal experiences though.

You have to take your attack and realize it is a part of you. Understand what is happening to you during such a thing. Some can be mild some off the charts. But just keep in mind your body is reacting to a fear. Panic eases over time and with healing. You have to understand your panic can get out of hand with fear of fear.

You go somewhere that you have had an attack, you fear it so it will come. Fearing the attack always send out an invite. You have to understand they will not harm you and not everyone is all that concerned. We are way too self aware. I learned I can usually have mine with out others noticing now. They are normally mild and short lived. The ones I cannot hide are those occasional mother loads that I am staggering, room is spinning, and I puke my guts up. It is like drinking way to much when you don't have a drop... One thing I never got. Why is it I can drink a drink or take something that would make another person high and it makes me "sober" feeling?? Hell, people pay good money to feel like I do half the time LOL. I have to pay to not!

But it takes a lot of practice to get where you can just shake it and blow it off. If you can't, sit and DO NOT dwell on the symptoms, try closing your eyes and think something good. Or for me I learned the entire body chemistry at work. What exactly was happening where to cause every sensation. I would think about each nerve reacting with what to make me feel that way and wonder how strange this action causes numbness, how this one make my eyes look black, no wonder I am so shaky all the glucose dumped and adrenaline, I could probably out run a car... Find humor it helps. Leave yourself options. You are not a failure if you have to walk outside. Allow things like that. Long as you know you have the option you no longer feel trapped. So take your scariest situations and notice when and where you attacks occur, who you are with, what you were listen to or watching... Things like that so you can narrow it down and figure out why this evokes that fear response in you.

What I believe to be a panick attack for me is when I lay in bed to sleep and out of nowhere I feel like I'm about to die right there and I start having major problems trying to breathe, like a severe asthmatic. For me, since my asthma isn't severe, this is way worse than that. I would even say THE worse symptom I experience. Most of the time I really don't care if I live or die until this sort of thing happens to me, then I feel like I am in for the fight of my life and I want to live... maybe its a reminder from my subconscious to live again because it just happens unexpectedly to me. Maybe its because of a realization of how far my physical health has deteriorated since Iraq.

Panic attack.. I thought I was seriously dying the first time I had one. OMG.. seems like I've kept them pretty much at bay by breathing and removing myself from whatever/wherever it is thats causing it. This past week though has been the worst yet.. Every moment of the last week I've spent trying to keep that familiar thumping in my chest away.. shallow breathing.. fear.. uggh.. I've been sleeping too much.. thats the only way to cope, (or not cope I guess) Hey.. if I'm asleep, I cant feel anything.. Hah!! :loopy:

I try and not show that I'm panicing. Takes a very observant person to pick up on it.

I feel like I can't breath, my vision kind of tunnels, I start shaking. My heart pounds, mouth goes dry

Sometimes I'll cry, I sweat uncontrollably, cold sweats mainly.
I fidget, tend to not be able to stand still. My hands and feet will jerk.
I go blank, I can hold conversations and not remember anything other then the fear.

Oh, and I talk a million billion miles an hour on three or four differant topics.

And Goddammit, running through the symptoms triggers.

Jen, enjoyed reading your thread. It seems you've received a great deal of great response. Helps me too so much just to read it all. Like an 'in my face' reminder that I am not alone. Thank you for starting it, so many of us may not realize how much we help other people by risking just being ourselves.

Like you, I have learned to live with my chronic anxiety and the anxiety attacks which can and do sometimes suddenly escalate. I have learned many ways to manage generalized anxiety out of sheer necessity. I've found anxiety can land anywhere along a whole continuum of symptoms, with one end at mild at the other at most extreme. And, I've probably experienced it all along that stretch. One thing, I've learned is that 'anxiety attacks' are not permanent, and they have a beginning and an end...and times passes and then another...and another. Sometimes they're more frequent then others. What I do, whether mild or most embarrassing to me, when most obvious or disruptive is when I do finally get away, I recognize that I'm very ill, and practice forgiving myself for having this PTSD condition, and most of the time, no longer pay heed to my 'internal judge' and it's voice of shame and humiliation that tries hard to slam me with something else that will make me feel all the worse.

I smiled jen when you said you have a hard time showing emotion, me too. One thing that my husband, children and others always notice about me is that I could accidentally hurt the hell out of myself, and if anyone's around, I automat. respond as if not a damn thing has hurt me. Bending down once, and than standing up abruptly I slammed my head so hard on this X'tra large fire-exting., it hurt so f'n bad, and yet barely a peep came out of me, I quickly regained composer and just stuffed it, acting as if it never happened. jen, I do it with other emotions too, but getting better at being vulnerable.

Jen, most likely you're going to recognize much and begin to let others in to the true 'jen reality' all in time, all with willingness and practice, and in your own process of healing.

Now Jen, if I didn't know you typed that NO THERAPISTS FOR ME, I would have thought I had because OMG, how that expresses how I've thought over several yrs. now. My truth is I didn't really believe there was a single one out there capable of steering me along any process of healing and recovery. Feared they'd trap me in their system. I don't need any part of any system. However, now that I'm armed with much more insight on these possiblities, and refuse to budge and will remain my own best advocate, I'm actually considering looking and finding a therapist these days, maybe even a PTSD group, but not a one of them am I going to let relate to me in any off' way, or dupe me into any foolish nonsense whatsoever, which is another whole conversation.

Well, anyway jen, I'm just so glad you're here with us and we're hearing from you. **hugs for you, Jen**