I have bin feeling things over the last few months that I thought were delt with ,, and I was ok with being with self ,, but I got in another terorale car wreck and PTSD came slamming back ,, thats when my friend told me of this site ,, again I delt with stuff and I was kinda OK ,,,,
well I was wrong ,, the emotions are runnig wild ,, now some of you may not like this ,,,but I kinda like my emotions ,, because they are finally real , they are mine and not drowned with drugs or alcahol,,
to say that a differant way ,, I wecome them all ,, just don't really like the way they feel ,, but they are still real and I know what to do about them ,,, most of the time,,, I reach out and ask for help ,, from many places ,, you are not the only place I get what I need to be able to heal ,, and heal I will,,,

I hope and pray that when these dam's brake , and they will ,, I get the same results as when they burst years ago ,,, that dose not meen I am not scared of what or where this {like last time } very tramtic event may happen ,, my friend of 20yrs told me to ask God to help put me in a safe place when it dose come rolling threw ,, I can ask for that ,,

my emotioms have bin getting triggered almost at every turn ,, while talking to a friend , watching TV , listening to a song , exct exct , the one thing that isn't quite so bad about this is that I kinda recognize this one coming to a head ,, unlike the first time it happened ,,,,
People I know around hear say that God will never give you more than you can handle ,, bull shi- I say God must have one heck of a sence of humor ,, because he can push it right to the limit ,, I personally know a few people it was to much for ,, they are no longer with us ,, a shed a tear for them right now ,

I hate knowing what I know ,, there is much to much information in this head ,, to much truth , to much heart ripping knowledge to hold on to ,,
I do know I'm not the only one that feels this way ,,, but some time it feels that way ,, please share your thoughts on this matter with me

I need them ,, even tho they may make me cry ,,,maybe thats what I really do need
Beatle Bailey :crazy-blu who knows

Beatle, that's because you thought PTSD could be suppressed, and your learning it can't. PTSD is not just about the past, its about everything that occurs within our lives, for the rest of our lives. Healing past trauma is a crucial aspect to controlling the symptoms from PTSD, but every trauma, every present and future event that causes us negative emotion must be dealt with appropriately, not attempted to be ignored or discarded, as it just doesn't work. PTSD will prevail each and every single time if anything is left undealt.

I need to thank all the differant people who have responded to all my posts
over the past few months ,,, over the years I have figured out my own copeing skills ,,,like backing off this forum when I get to emotional ,, But you see these same emotions have a healing effect ,, when worked through to a semi end ,, I myself know I still have a lot to work on ,, found a retreat to go too ,, which I hope will bging a lot of these emotions to a head ,, an may be bring them out in full force , in a safe place ,, :dont-know
People in hear give me strenth like the people in AA do ,,, and you giys bring out ,and bring up the shi- that is way down deep ,, feelings that aren't very comfortable ,, but at least I feel them today , an don't hide them behind Buze or drugs ,,,, don't get me wrong ,,, I am not a Doctor I do not pretend to know what is the right treatment for others ,, If somthing is helping you cope with your head an the rest of the world , then keep doing what works for you ,, Please !!

I have been searching for things my whole life ,,, exceptance love understanding , pretty basic stuff ,, right ,,, trama happened as a kid then as a teen then in the military then after ,,, one of my first Posted threads was how many layers are there ,,, now I know there are many ,,

first I found out I am an alcoholic them an AIDS victom by sharing needles and drug abuse ,, then I found out I had PTSD and drepression,, Hell we probibly all have ADD ,, but I always find a way to fight off the thoughts in my mind ,, maybe the phone , an AA meeting ,, maybe talking to some one I trust , that I know has the same kind of thinking as I do ,, or this forum ,,, there are so many differant places to find help ,, but we have to find what works for us , as individuals ,, we are all differant and uneak ,, like my bad spelling ,, I could work on that ,, but it is not so importent to me ,, If I can get the message across with bad spelling , what duz it matter ,,, Thanks for helping me find my way Beatle

PS this is a good day so far, but I haven't left the house yet ,, and I am going out in a little while ,,

God bless you all

I'm hoping you continue to have a good day.. its sooo hard when they're bad ones. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this PTSD thing, its a tough thing to accept. Hang in there.. we're here for each other.. and thats been a huge thing to me.