Troubles Tonight - Coping With Trauma Hysterics - Page 10

Jim · #91 06-03-2007, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anthony

Secret to help avoid huge fallout... near constantly ask her what she is feeling, but do it in a way where you express what you feel, to make a conversational question from it, not a direct question; as that will likely just piss her off if asked too many questions. Kind off like reflective listening if you like, though modified, where you use that type of technique to just start talking, and the reflective aspect might just work on Evie, seeing whether she is listening and then if so, she may just reveal more about what she feels constantly before, during and after.

Have been practicing this very thing lately, in other areas. Very useful, so I will try it with this instance as well. Taken me a bit to learn how to phrase things without her getting pissed off, but it's been well worth the effort.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cookie

the plan is a great idea, even to the point of saying "if you lose control, we will help you to a quiet place to calm down," then, if you need to, you can tell her "let's find that quiet place we talked about." and it might make it easier.

Thank you Cathy. Appreciate the phrasing you shared and may just use it this evening.

Evie will not be attending the funeral on Wednesday, as it is occurring at the same time as her cancer treatment that day. Her decision entirely. However. We are taking her to the prayers this evening, and to view the body. Nikki's mother asked Evie to draw a picture to be buried in the casket with her. That was a lovely gesture. Hopefully all will go well tonight.

Jim.

Jim · #92 07-03-2007, 05:21 AM

Prayers went splendidly last night. No problems. However. Will let her explain what happened in more detail in her own threads. We are extremely proud of her.

Jim.

Kathy · #93 08-03-2007, 11:15 AM

Oh dear. I'm not sure what's going on, but Evie became horribly upset this morning and completely demolished her room - smashed things, ripped up her artwork, even cut up some of her clothes with scissors! Jim was not home at the time, or he would have put a stop to it I'm sure. I did nothing, just stood in the doorway and watched her, making sure she wasn't intending to hurt herself, which she didn't thankfully. After exhausting herself she lay on her bed crying for the longest time and eventually let me embrace her. I felt rather helpless through it all. She won't talk to us about it. She was gravely ill in the middle of the night and we had to take her to hospital, so possibly this has something to do with it. Or perhaps the funeral, or our move, or any number of other things. Really there has been a lot she's had to deal with lately. Perhaps it just became too much. Thankfully she is resting now.

becvan · #94 09-03-2007, 01:49 AM

Kathy,

It sounds like her cup is too full. Did you read the spouse's gide to PTSD that anthony created? She has got way too much on her plate at once right now. that is an aweful lot to be dealing with.

Evie needs to remove some stressors and concentrate on getting better. She needs to slow herself down some.

Ugh just too early with little coffe and little sleep.. I completely forgot what I was going to say! LOL...

I'll post later when I remember what the heck I was going to add.

thinking of you all,
bec

Jim · #95 09-03-2007, 10:21 AM

Yes we have the spouse guide. Correct, she has too much on her plate. Not sure what can be removed however. Presently we are trying to get her to quit worrying about the PTSD portion. She needs to concentrate on getting physically well.

Afraid I've not been very helpful lately. Got aggravated with her yesterday, was too harsh with her, which I believe has added to her stress greatly. I was quite the asshole. In any event, she is a bit better today. Sleeping and eating better. Thank you for your concern.

Jim.

batgirl · #96 09-03-2007, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim

Afraid I've not been very helpful lately. Got aggravated with her yesterday, was too harsh with her, which I believe has added to her stress greatly. I was quite the asshole.

You're not an asshole. You are awesome 99% of the time, and the other 1% I probably richly deserve. To be honest I don't know how you stand me most of the time.

Jim · #97 11-03-2007, 04:22 PM

Think you're being a bit generous in your estimation of me, but thank you dear. And as to how I stand you. How do you stand me? I think we both need to learn in that department.

Uncle Jim.