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  #41  
Old 21-11-2006, 12:18 PM
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veiled veiled is offline Gender Female
 
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I thought I would toss this back up to show we all had a chance for input. Changes were made so to keep the board clean and under some form of productive control to allow others here who are ready and willing to heal do just that. Not saying falling on your face is unacceptable, as we all do, and everyone helps us up, brush off, and keep working towards our ultimate goal; to be the best we can be having PTSD. But if it is destructive behavior pulling from the board over and over there is a point we step in and it has to be done. It is for the overall welfare of the other members of the board who do not need to be worried constantly over a single member and one of the reasons there is now a suicide sticky up.

Since this, you see what new members see. These are the rules, and again we all had a chance for input. I just really thought this should be pulled back to the top for refreshing people's minds. And Just my opinion to freshen up none of got here because we had a little boo boo... We were all traumatized to be here. So the "I am a victim" daily and sometimes all day gets old. Yes, we get it and are here to work through it and move through it and help those who want to also. But shit, if one person is going to drag the entire board down daily with it and do nothing to try to help themself or reject our help, what in the hell do you think is going to happen to the posts eventually? We start deleting before others see it. Anthony is more than patient dealing with this and it slides for a while and he is letting you clear your head. But if your only intention is for a huge non-stop pity party and that becomes clear, you are not in the right place.

Yes, we have our daily bitches, all of us... But we do not make a dozen threads that make no sense in a day all over the board about it and work up members who are just as emotionally unstable as you, especially if your intentions in said posts are unclear.
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  #42  
Old 23-11-2006, 11:21 PM
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Thank you, Veiled, I agree whole heartedly. In the past, I briefly participated in a group called "AMAC" (Adults molested as children) and all it was was a pity party. Finally, one day, I stood up and was like... Okay, so when do we learn to heal? Where's the light at the end of the tunnel in all this whining every week? When do we learn to go from victims to survivors!?
The facilitator's reaction was to tell me I had anger problems LOL!!! *insert "wtf" look here*

Needless, to say, I never went back.
Thank you again =)
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  #43  
Old 24-11-2006, 09:11 AM
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anthony anthony is offline Gender Male
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This is exactly correct, and those who think they are going to come here for a pity party, are going to be the ones that get the most upset. I do not have the time to self pity people and feed their desires. I have the time to help people who want to help themselves and become survivors. I make no secret of this, as I too have PTSD, a family and commitments.

Is this selfish? Some people may think so, but I don't care. I understand that everyone here with PTSD must rest, they must not over do themselves, they must take care off themselves and learn to work with PTSD. No one person here is going to save the world, but it takes a lot of time from all members to respond and talk with those who want help and support, not just pity. Those who do not understand that, and think its acceptable to waste other members time here, I really just have no tolerance.

I will say, I have banned JoannaG now for all the nonsense going on privately.
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  #44  
Old 10-03-2007, 12:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anthony View Post
a person cannot be helped until they are ready to accept PTSD, move past denial and actively make that choice to listen and do the required self work upon themselves. At the end of the day, nobody can fix another person with PTSD, only provide guideance... the person must want to heal.
I'm the type of gal that when I clean, I'm very thorough. I like to lift, expose, move, rearrange, find and discover lost or hidden valuables, or just things misplaced that I personally value. My approach at cleaning is more than just a cleaning approach..............so here, when I found this gem of a reminder, I thought hey, I like this.

Thank you for this, there really is an enormous amount said here, and great guidance and motivation.

Most definately, I am one of those one's that want to heal, and so I need to find and locate these reminders and guidance, and not overlook them, so that I may stay on track for longer periods of time.

Just ask my husb., he'll tell you. I'm almost certain, he wouldn't have a single complaint with me not wanting to heal, FAMOF, he claims I work to hard at, tackling my healing. I appreciate his input, and it certainly has merit, but if he were me, I'm sure he'd understand more clearly why.

Last edited by goingonhope; 10-03-2007 at 12:11 PM. Reason: spelling
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  #45  
Old 10-03-2007, 12:53 PM
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My point I want to make it that people coming and putting badness around the board and having to have anthony and moderators work so hard to keep it safe takes away what this is all about. It makes people suspicious of everyone, and paranoid, and makes people feel unsafe. And I don't like that. I suddenly feel vulnerable and unsafe. Maybe it is my mood tonight so it is affecting me more, I don't know. But the fact that this user was traced to a RAPE site?!!!! I'm sorry, but I'm totally freaked out by that and scared. I don't want to feel that I have to be suspicious over people I am trying to support and be supported by, in a place where I am trying to talk about difficult issues. The recent things with Scott, and now this person, has triggered that for me. I also don't want to feel like I have prove myself to be trusted, or taken seriously here either, because I am fairly new. I'm so bloody fu**ing angry that people are coming in and making me feel this way because they are causing the issues, and this has got to me tonight.

I'm just glad that the problem is now recognised, and I think that all the suggestions are good, and that all measures where possible should be taken to restore the sense of security here. And I know that this is what you are trying to do Anthony, so thank you. I don't know why I'm posting this ramble, I think I just feel quite strongly towards this but I am sure everyone does. I have nothing constructive to say right now! Sorry, shutting up now.

Thank you Anthony for bringing this up, and trying so hard to stop all this. I totally agree that anyone on this site promoting bad feeling should be severely warned, and then stopped until they can participate in a healthy way, because there just isn't room for it.
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  #46  
Old 10-03-2007, 01:28 PM
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....Not that I am saying the sense of security has gone! Sorry... just my crap overspilling there :(
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  #47  
Old 12-03-2007, 06:34 AM
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I joined this forum a couple of months ago, I have gotten further in my acceptance of PTSD than in the entire last year since I was diagnosed.

Anthony, I am so grateful to you and the others that run this place and try to help us find sanity. You've created a place that allows us to connect with each other and help each other. I agree that we need to do whatever we can to keep this forum as safe and trusting as possible. (being realistic and all.)

I have times where I'll go days without saying anything on the forum, but just reading and trying to work on myself. Then of course are the days where I have plenty to say.. hopefully its been done without offending anyone.

I love and appreciate you all, more than you know.. you dropped into my lap when I needed it the most. Thank you.. To everyone. :redface:
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  #48  
Old 12-03-2007, 01:48 PM
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Your welcome. Maintaining the board is paramount, but unfortunately within the world, there are people who get a kick out of abusing others, or for their own sick and perverted means. The facts are, this is a public forum which anyone can gain access, which means every person must earn their trust, not just be given it.

I am a very good judge of character, and I can pick quite easily those who are trying to waste time opposed to those who really want help. Do I get it wrong? Likely once in a while, but rarely I could definately say. The forum is heavily moderated, and that fact alone stops most of the nasty people before members get to see many things.

What you do here, you are fairly well protected. What people do forget though, is that the information once posted is public, and that means people can find you if you write specifics publicly about your life. This is part of the healing process though, where a person can let go off themselves in order to no longer care what others think, but more care what they themselves think, as that is the only truly important thing. If you don't care about yourself first, then you will fail in all other areas.
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