Went To The Book Store Alone

batgirl · #1 30-03-2007, 01:22 PM

Tonight I went to 2 book shops by myself. I haven't gone anywhere alone since January, I go out but I always go with a family member. I used to go out alone prior to that, but I always wore my heavy goth make up, never went out with my "natural" face. Tonight though I really wanted to buy a book and nobody wanted to take me, so I went alone!! At first my family didn't want to let me go, they were worried about me getting sick, but I placated them by taking the mobile. It's only a 4 block walk, and it's still light outside. I went into 2 different bookshops, even asked for the book in both places. Normally I just browse and never ask for help. I found the book, bought it, and came home again. No make up, no family!

It doesn't sound like much maybe but for me it was a LOT as I never go out alone, especially not without my make up.

Jim · #2 31-03-2007, 03:16 AM

Very good dear. I'm proud of you.

Uncle Jim.

Linda · #3 01-04-2007, 04:22 AM

Wow, Evie, this is a wonderful job!
You have all the reasons to be proud of yourself, and so does you family.
:jerk:
Linda

Marlene · #4 01-04-2007, 05:44 AM

That's great, Evie! It does sound like a lot because it was a lot! The first time I went to the grocery store by myself after my symptoms hit, by the time I got to the checkout counter, my legs were shaking, but I was also proud of myself. I felt like I'd climbed a mountain rather than just buying a week's worth of groceries. All of our small victories add up. Never discount them. You go, girl!

Jim · #5 01-04-2007, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marlene

All of our small victories add up. Never discount them.

Amen to that Marlene. Thank you for mentioning it.

Jim.

juls · #6 02-04-2007, 04:44 AM

That's great!! It's truly a big step and I know you can keep getting out because there are so many of us that believe in you!

anthony · #7 02-04-2007, 05:05 PM

Well done Evie, very well done. Can you tell me, did anything bad happen to you along the way? If not, then have you told yourself this also? Have you told yourself that you didn't need goth makeup in order to hide? Did you tell yourself that society is not out to get you? Did you tell yourself that other people are just as scared of you as you are off them? Did you tell yourself that you didn't get hurt going out by yourself? And the list just keeps going on....

Well done Evie... now process what you did with all the facts vs. negative thoughts you have about the very thing you just accomplished please.

batgirl · #8 03-04-2007, 01:23 AM

Thanks everyone. Anthony you're right, nothing bad happened to me when I went out. It was quite uneventful actually. But no I didn't think about any of those facts you mentioned, I was very nervous, and mostly just thinking, "phew, I made it!" But those are very good points, I didn't get hurt, nothing bad happened, I don't have to hide. I'm obviously not as hideous looking as I thought I was either, because no one was staring at me, and the clerks in the shops were pleasant enough. And hey, when I asked for the book, they didn't ask me to repeat myself, so maybe my accent isn't that bad either!

Anyways I will think of those facts now, going to write them all down in my paper journal actually, thanks!

nov_silence · #9 04-04-2007, 11:14 AM

Knowing that you don't have to hide, and then having a positive experience is so nourishing. Good for you, Evie! Very proud, indeed!

Kathy · #10 06-04-2007, 06:12 AM

It is a very big step for you sweetheart. I'm so proud and pleased you had a positive experience, and that you have continued to go out on your own twice since. Perhaps the world is not such a frightening place as you originally thought.