Hi all,
my name is Lauren and I am brand-new to this forum. Just this weekend I kind of had one of those lightbulb moments where I realized that what I've been struggling with for the past 15 years (more than 1/2 my life) is PTSD. I was actually reviewing a book for soldiers coming back from Iraq, and it dealt a lot with PTSD; how to recognize it, etc. As I read it, I couldn't believe it; I was saying "this is me, this is me!" So anyway, Monday morning I am going to try to get a referral to therapy, and try it again. In the past, they have focused on my relationship with my parents, etc, when I think the issue that needs to be dealt with is my ongoing fears and anxiety from an incident that happened when I was 13. I was home in the evening with my mother (it was just us living together then) and I heard a noise outside; the rocks scraping. Iwas sure it was just a neighbor cat, so I pulled open the blinds and looked straight into the face of a man who had crawled under our porch and was doing something to the window. The police came, they didn't catch him, and nothing much came of that. Nothing happened to me, but in my mind I had been raped, tortured, murdered. That moment changed my life completely, and I've been scared all the time since. I felt safer walking down the street than ever being in a house alone. I've gotten better, because I've dealt the last few years with a husband being gone on 2 deployments, but there are situations that come up where I realize that I am NOT okay.
Anyway, that's me. I'm glad this group is out here, looking forward to reading what all the rest of you have to say.
Lauren

Hi Lauren,

Glad you found this very special place. Fear is an inner conflict unresolved in anticipation of the worst that might happen. I have friends who were in the Gulf War and the fear of dying from Saddam launched Scud missiles was very real then, as the sequela of this continues today. Present problems in Korea and the Middle East add to this scenario.

I'd be interested in knowing what book you were reviewing for soldiers who are coming back from Iraq. Darla, the wife of an Army Ranger, retired who served in the Gulf, and myself are trying to set up a veteran and veteran family support group in Sebring, Ohio. The American Legion there, who is sponsoring our meetings, tells us that many veterans are staying away because they don't want anyone to think they are crazy. It is my hope that education on PTSD and a supportive environment such as that which has been created here can help many find the road to insight and peace.

Regards,

Roerich

Hi Lauren,

Welcome to the forum, and glad you found us. Yep, well at that age, it must of been a little confronting to say the least, even though you suffered no actual physical pain or experience, the mental pain was present.

A good move that you are going to get back into therapy, and you need to see where that takes you. You need to look for expert physicians in PTSD and trauma, and allow them to diagnose you to whether it is PTSD or not. The reason I say that, is because the incident itself doesn't fit the primary reason for diagnosis of PTSD, ie. severe traumatic incident, however; as you said, it was traumatic to you, which means that because this went untreated at the time, it could have very well now developed into PTSD or still residing around the PTSS realm, either one needs treatment and diagnosis to ascertain though.

I must say, you certainly are going to have your work cut out for you though if your husband is military, deployed, and if he happens to be one of the unfortunate to gets PTSD due to operations. Two people with PTSD... could be an interesting combination, though I also have my feelings about this, in that when both spouses have PTSD, it equals itself out compared to just the one, as both spouses immediately become available to one another in a direct support mechanism as actually knowing what each other is feeling, and without even having to ask, give one another enough space because you know what is going on. Interesting.... I say that because you mentioned about reading a book about veterans returning from deployments, which means that something is already setting off alarm bells within you to try and work out why he is behaving in the manner he is.

Do you think your husband is developing PTSD from his deployment? If so, you need to both be in counselling near full-time when he returns.

Hi & welcome. How about those lightbulb moments, eh? This is the perfect place to find support and understanding!

Welcome Lauren. Glad you stopped by! Hope to hear more from you.

Kim

The book is
Downrange: to Iraq and back
by bridget Cantrell, PhD and Chuck dean
It was pretty good, :)

Lauren