hi, i am not sure what to say. i am 49 yrs old and was being treated for this depression for a year. I thought i was losing my mind because of the flashbacks (didn't know what was going on) and the things i could "hear" it still makes me feel crazy. anyway i kept becoming s**c*d*l, and finally went to a psychiatrist. i knew things (mostly noises) were making me jump through the ceiling, but didn't connect it to the depression. i am told i have complex ptsd from some childhood abuse when i was 3,4, and 5. i don't understand how it can bother me after this long. i am on 3 anti-depressants, but it still comes every few days , over and over. i just really need a way to make all this go away. i have had to change t twice, but the one i am seeing now is a trauma specialist. i have a lot of trouble being able to "talk". i just can't. i would love to hear from someone that this is going to go away sooner or later, and that you can have a normal life again. i am cookie, a teacher(if i don't lose my job) i have 3 grown children, no grandbabies yet. that's about all i can think of. bear with me!

Welcome cookie!

I don't know if it will ever "go away"
but I can tell you it will get better :)

For us PTSD'ers talking or expressing our feelings is usually pretty hard
But with time, you'll find this place to be somewhere you can say exactly how you feel.
Feel free to come in here anytime to rant/vent/chat or whatever!

Have you been on the anti-depressants long?
I've been on some since January... and I've only started to calm down recently.
(although there were quite afew med changes, which can upset my mood for abit)
Just stick in there,
you can do this ;)

Hi Cookie,

Welcome to the forum. Will it go away completely? No, it won't, however; you can get it to the point of a near non-existance within your life, providing you control your lifestyle a little, so you have reduced stress, anxiety and reason for depression to set in.

Once controlled, you will get minor spouts of symptoms come through at times, but they are exactly that, minor, and easily controlled again. Is it easy? Well... I certainly didn't walk any lovely rosy path to get to that point. It is hard work, mentally challenging, sometimes physically exhausting from the mental strain, but very achievable to see good results in six months, vast improvement over twelve months, and pretty non-existant after two or more years, providing you maintain a healthy lifestyle that fits around your PTSD to some extent.

Hi Cookie!

When traumatic things happen, it's common for people to just be emotionally numb about it, not feel any emotional connection at all, and think that they have succeeded in 'coping' with it; but it's trapped under the surface and can rear up any time later. If you don't mind my asking, were there any aspects of your emotional life over the years that felt a bit dead or suppressed? That can often be so. Depression is often described as anger turned inward, so the depression can also be seen as an upsurge or release of what has been buried so long. I empathise with the feeling that it just won't ever go away, but once you find the right tools and information, and process what prompted the condition, you can start to master it and get your life back. It is painful, but you'll come out of it with a deeper knowledge and wisdom. You've made a good start on that process by opening up to us. Welcome!

Hi Cookie!

I'm so glad you found us! Welcome to a wonderful place for those of us with PTSD. Feel free to visit any time and be yourself. Rant and rave if you want to, or just sit back and watch the action unfold.

I, too, am a teacher with PTSD due to both physical and sexual abuse as I was growing up. Although there are aspects of PTSD that affect me on my job, I'm able to keep it together (for the most part) at school. That's not to say I don't have my moments; sometimes I completely forget what I am supposed to be saying or a kid's name and I stand there looking completely stupid. After a while the kids get used to it and I laugh right along with them.

No, it doesn't go away, but it will get better with help. You will have very rough days and very good days. As much as you'll want to give up, keep hanging in there! When it seems like it's too much for you, come visit here and tell us all about it!

Take care. Remember to breathe!

Kim

welcome, cookie! i know exactly what you mean when you say you have trouble talking about it--i'm the same way...i was just with my counsellor today and she said it was like pulling teeth...one of the worst things for me is also when they ask how i feel about something...and i just wanna scream at them I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!!!! Or I say something like, how do you THINK someone feels when they don't kno wwhether they'll survive etc...anyway, i'm starting to babble. welcome and i really hope this forum helps :)

Hello Cookie. Welcome aboard. You are not alone in this struggle. I, too, have complex ptsd/depression/anxiety...blah, blah, blah...from childhood abuse. I'm afraid that complex doesn't even begin to describe the way we feel sometimes. I was lucky in some ways...that my therapist just had me talk. I didn't feel pressured to say anything I didn't want to. I wasted a lot of sessions this way, but eventually things started to turn around. Then, a year later, I switched therapists to one that was a bit more agressive, but I was ready for that. And eventually, very slowly, started to get better.

I am here to say, that it does get better. I think one of the worst symptoms of PTSD is the anxiety (a word for scared sh*tless), and that does ease up significantly after you work through the traumas a bit.

Work hard and learn to cope. You can do it cookie....

I like your name by the way...