However difficult others say children are Hodge, and however much one thinks oneself prepared, once the little buggers arrive they are 100x more trouble than imagined. But precious, so precious, and well worth all the troubles in the world. The US Army used to have the slogan "It's the toughest job you'll ever love". Well. Parents should steal that slogan in my opinion. It's far more accurate.

Jim.

I think I see what you are saying, Jim. I've always felt that being a parent was the most challenging, intimidating thing one could do in this life. It's probably because I could see how much can go wrong--and how much damage can be done by a parent doing something wrong. Anyway, I hope someday I'll be up for doing that. Thanks.

It's not only the damage you can do to them Hodge, it's what the little darlings can do to you as well! :tongue: In fact children and teens are quite resilient and as long as you are not abusive of course, any mistakes you make with them are the least of your worries. It is just a tremendous amount of work, even at the best of times when you are getting on with them and enjoying them. And they don't stop being your children at 18. Far from it. They may move away, but they will always need you to some extent. Even our foster children, most of whom are in their 30s now, often ring us for advice, opinions and such. It never ends. But it is well worth it, ever so rewarding, and I do hope you get to experience it at some point. Nothing grounds you and brings you out of yourself better than children.

Thanks, Kathy, it's helpful to me to hear about your perspective and experience. Maybe someday... In any case,

I wish you both the best as you begin this new chapter in your lives together!

:claps: Kathy and Jim.....Congrats!!!! I feel the same way about kids.."The hardest job you will ever love"....I have one son...His age will be 30 this coming August.....We are very close and get along great!!! When he was 10 I divorced his father as he had pushed my son out of the bathroom so hard that my son flipped over....After 11 years of hell I decided that I wasn't going to allow my ex to physically abuse my son [it's my ex's son too] I had put up with some physical abuse from my ex and had gotton that stopped as I threatened him that I would take my blow dryer and lay that upside his head if he ever touched me again!!! So the ex went for the emotional abuse to the both of us....I had to stop it all at once....It wasn't easy but I managed and my son is very well balanced and socially concerned [he went down to New Orleans the Thanksgiving after the hurricane went through] Once we were on our own we lived in poverty but we had a more pleasant life together....I regret that I didn't walk out sooner as my son only remembers that his parents were always arguing....But all turned out well even though I had to go on Disability when he was a jr. in High School.....I had worked for a year as a home health aide after losing my job and insurance benefits when the company I had worked for almost 15 years folded.....My son was vry observant that I had sacrificed a lot for him and did it purely because I loved him....I made sure that I spent a lot of time with him and I was there to listen....He came home one day [approx. age 15] from school and sat down and said how much he appreciated me spending time with him as he had noticed that many parents of his peers only bought that whatever they desired but never spent time with them....That is such a warm memory!!! I have soooo wanted to be a foster mom but because of my mental health background I won't be allowed to do that....It makes my heart very sad at times...I know you are very aware of the importance of parenting kids that don't have the love and support from their biological parents....I did well with my son but that doesn't matter with the child welfare dept. All they see is my "mental health" issues.....As for visiting your bed and breakfast....Put me on the list!!! Thank you for sharing all your lives with us...You are both such an inspiration!!!!! .....SPREADING THE PEACE

What a wonderful memory for you, wildfire! Those moments certainly are extremely precious. It's so very gratifying when children appreciate one's efforts. Sometimes it takes years to see that appreciation, but it's well worth it in the end. Your son sounds like a wonderful man and you have every reason to feel blessed and be proud of him. I know I would if he were mine.

I can see where that would be frustrating for you. And is quite ironic, isn't it, considering not only the shortage of foster parents, but also the sheer number of foster parents who are really quite dreadful. Just because one does not have a diagnosed mental illness, does not mean one is a suitable foster parent. Really Jim and I have been shocked by some of the people who have been allowed to be foster parents, it is both astonishing and sad. How they ever passed their reviews is beyond us. Yet more sincere persons like yourself are passed up.

You are welcome to visit our Bed & Breakfast, as is everyone else here who wishes - however, please remember it is still in the planning stages and not operational as of yet! Seems we must inform you all when it is up and running. And perhaps we should start taking reservations now! :tongue: