I had surgery May 1st, two discs in my neck needed fusing. My complex ptsd started from when I was two, but really hit the fan when I was three and older.
The reason I needed surgery was from a traumatic event, in which I was the star in a very sick b rated movie from the sixties, and although I have had slight flashes after surgery, just to remind me of where all this crap was coming from, it's the lack of motion I can use if I had to defend myself, that really has kept me harboured in my home since the operation. Again, I haven't had to defend myself in some time, its the mind over matter, matter over mind syndrome, I need to know I am well equip to defend and leave unscathed should the expected happen. I know I could defend, but what injuries would I cause myself in the duration, and in aftermath I do not ever want to be unable to take care of myself.
I told everyone pre-surgery, I would be up like a rocket after, and will be wanting to go home. The nurses kind of looked at me like, "oh the poor girl just doesn't understand how it works," and I gave them the "Oh yes I do", sigh, back. Well, true to my word, after surgery I was up and about five minutes after surgery, (it would have been shorter if I wasn't being nice to the nurse holding me down to the bed) and within fifteen to twenty minutes after I was out the door.
I feel stronger now, and about to start working out to regain muscle mass, but I am going thru the strangest sleep disorders, that do not have a pattern at all. My mother thinks it great because I am going to watch her aged dog when she goes away this coming week while she goes away, because her dog is having the same disorders as me and I can let her out when she would normally be sleeping. I am ever so glad that because of her poor choices in life, I am inflicted with this brain disorder, that I can now once again bail her out. (btw she's going with her scrawny little husband that has a crush on me, second husband who also did, died, this one has a year)
Anyway, I know it is all psychosymatic, and it's weird that I am only having sleep disorders, and not worse. Right after the surgery I was getting out of bed in my sleep and doing weird stuff. At least I was clean about it, a neighbor told me I through stuff out in the garbage, part of that was my hot chocolate that of course I had a craving for the very next day, and searched high and low looking for it, I do hide stuff in that state. But usually I know when I am going to go through what I call night stalking, this time it was not assumed by me at all.
So now it has graduated into full fledge weird sleep patterns. I was up three days a few days ago, but will take meds. now after two days. I just don't want to get addicted to my xanax. They are my safety net for the big boomers of flashbacks, and I want to have them work, and not have my body used to getting them.
Anyway, its screwy, and I guess I am just moaning, not ranting, not excited enough to rant, not even moaning, maybe, um, slightly fed up and waiting for it to pass. The weirdest thing is it not having my usual patterns. When I was young, I couldn't go to sleep til it was getting light outside, I have that, but then I would sleep a hour or three, now its just hello brain, instead of nighty night brain. I know it is only temporary, this to shall pass. Btw, if you go to mtv.com you can watch episodes of all the past shows with only 15-26 seconds of commericals. See what you learn when you're awake!

dljwhitewolf, it seems like you're going to need to take the best care of yourself as you can and are willing to. As well as, you need time away from this recent surgery to getting to feeling stabalized again. It sounds like though you were up and home shortly after the surgery, you need and know you deserve good care.

Accept everything you can for now, relax in peace, take it easy, take care and recover.

Hope