Yes, I realize i have to live my life, but I've been dealing with her withdrawling for weeks and it has made a huge impact on me. I haven't had any panic attack / depression issues for years, but this situation has put me in one of the worst slumps of my life. I am having a lot of difficulty sleeping and concentrating. What I find really weird about this, if you are familiar with the Myspace.com website, she still has me as her number 1 friend and she has "In a relationship" on her page. She hasn't removed any of my comments or anything. She has updated her Myspace page several times since we stopped talking, but she hasn't removed anything dealing with me. I just wish she could find the strength to call me or I could find the strength to stop letting this upset me so badly. I would give anything to be able to help her.

ECF,
I've been where you are. Sometimes when I feel confused, depressed, anxious, and my mind gets caught in a loop...I have to remember that sometimes I just have to ride it out. The best action for me in those times is no action. Don't be so hard on yourself. You love her, care about her well being, and want her to get help. There is no crime in that. Yes, I know it hurts terribly and deep. Hang on and don't give up.

It's now been 2 weeks since I seen her and 10 days since we have had any contact... that contact being her phone text message telling me she couldn't handle the responsibility of having a boyfriend while all of these things are rushing through her head. I know my situation doesn't compare to war vets with PTSD and married couples, but it doesn't make it any easier for me to swallow. I want to pick up the phone and call her, but she could be making progress and I feel in my heart that her making the steps of getting help or contacting me is the right thing. I just miss her so much.

I have a question for the people who deal with PTSD first hand. How likely are they to discuss their feelings with family members? I ask because I talked to my ex-girlfriend's cousin and she told me that my ex didn't want to be with me or anyone else, that she is gaining her independence. I didn't discuss anything about PTSD, I was just asking her cousin how she was feeling. She said that she was trapped by her ex (who recently overdosed) and then got involved with me rather quickly (actually 7 months after they split) and now she doesn't want to be with anyone. Since I have endured weeks and weeks of her withdrawling and being upset, I brought up the possibility of breaking up numerous times, she never wanted that. I really want to believe that she is having the nightmares and panic attacks that she has been claiming, but then why would her cousin tell me that she was seeking independence? I know that she has told me many times that she is trying to find herself and cope with all of her stress and anxiety, but she always described it as it didn't have anything to do with me and we'd be together again. Now, I feel even more confused as I have.

ECF, only your ex-girlfriend can answer this for you, and only her words can set you right, for what is, or is not, too be.

My psychiatrist suggests that I come to grips that this relationship is over and focus on dealing with the grief, depression and anxiety it has caused. She hasn't contacted me in close to 2 weeks, so I have to accept reality. It kills me that she is hurting, but like the shrink says, if she doesn't want you in her life and she wants to be apart, you can't force otherwise. So unless she realizes she made a mistake, I am trying my best to live my life.

Mate, your shrink has hit it on the head. You can do so much to try and help those you love, but at some point, you must detach and let them live their own lives, make their own mistakes, and learn for themselves. Yes, it people often hurt others during the process, but it is life, and there is little we can do to change these facts. People must learn for themselves.

I think you have done what you can do, and you have suggestions in this thread for any last attempts at saving your relationship, but if things have just failed, then you do need to come to terms with this and move on with your life. A little you time is needed I think, to get yourself better from these few symptoms you have, and get yourself back on a more positive path to your life. The best thing you have done, is talk about all this, and not keep everything to yourself. Well done.