Kathy, I dare say you and my mother would understand one another perfectly surrounding this. I wish she would talk about it, still so many years on, she is not the same person. Let me just say this, sex stopped between her and my father when Greg died. I only know this because dad told me. That is the level it affects, and then the affects of their relationship issues because of his death are constantly ongoing. A lot doesn't get said, but should, in my parents household. From what I can tell, ignorance is certainly not bliss in those situations.

Well done for realization Kathy, I know Evie is pretty happy about the decision.

I have to agree with everything everyone has said here in relation to talking about what has happened and processing the feelings of sadness, loss, anger and whatever else you feel.

Like Anthony has said, and I have seen myself first hand, ignorance destroys more than it helps and no matter what, it does eventually come back to 'bite you on the bum' in a more detrimental way than if you had grieved properly in the first place.

Warmest thoughts to you Jim, Kathy, Evie,Travis and your family.

I'm glad to hear about the decision Kathy. I can only hope that it helps some.

My best,

bec

Well Jim and I do not have any such intimacy problems. However it is not something to joke about; I do very much understand how that could occur, we certainly were quite "apart" from each other in many ways during the first few weeks. I understand precisely how your mother feels. I did not even want to continue living, those first few weeks. Thankfully though that aspect eventually returned to normal. I do feel for your parents Anthony, and for your entire family. It does not sound like a happy existence at all, certainly not how I want to spend the next 20 years of my life. Perhaps that is a "wake-up call" for me, that no matter how difficult it is now to speak of Brian, it is far better than not speaking about it and continuing to be unhappy for years to come.

Not to mention, yes it makes Evie happy, and we want to see her well. We do still have her and our other children and grandchildren's happiness to consider, as well as our own.

Oh and thank you Nicolette and Bec for those very kind words.

Kathy,Jim,Travis & Evie,
You will all remember Brian differently. He will have left you with different memories of a Child/Man, who was finding his way in life both surrounded by, AND around you.
It is not the accuracy of individual memories, but the emotions behind them when shared that are golden.
My heart is with you all
Ryair xxxxxxxxx