I Want to Help! Do I Leave My Partner to Help Him and His PTSD?

Andrea42 · #1 24-08-2006, 07:42 AM

I need advise..
My husabnd has PTSD and i dont know if i am making it worse by living with him?! Because i do not understand everything about whats going on with him i sometimes make him mad or upset...and i dont want that. Is it better to live apart for a while? i think its best but he does not think so yet i am not really helping him

YoungAndAngry · #2 24-08-2006, 12:18 PM

Andrea,
while at times it might seem like your making things worse...
at this point in his life he really needs you more than ever right now.
Of course there is no need for you to be putting up with abuse,
there is no excuse for that.

Utimately it's up to both of you to decide what it best.

But,
with knowledge, time, and the effort of both of you...
things should get better.

Nam · #3 24-08-2006, 02:48 PM

When a sufferer is at the worst point, stability is probably best. Keep things exactly the same. Our mind can be is such turmoil that if everything outside our minds stay the same, than normacy seems like it can be reached. When I was going through hell, my husband stayed by me through it all, and our love has grown stronger because of it. I don't know what it's like to have a loved one go through ptsd, but it has to be difficult. Express yourself on the ptsd spouse/partner part of this forum and it might bring some relief to know that you are not alone. I hope the best for you and your hub.

fedup · #4 24-08-2006, 03:17 PM

Andrea I know what your talking about but staying with him is probably the most important thing you can do right now..I've been through this with my hubby twice now in the past ten months. I too have thought about leaving BUT I then think about the good times we have when he is in a good place and thinking rational.I know my husband appreciates me staying by him when he goes through these bad times and I'm sure yours will too.

anthony · #5 24-08-2006, 04:03 PM

Andrea, take the above advice. We with PTSD push those close to us away, because we often have convinced ourselves that we are only bringing everyone around us down with us. That is not true, it is not reality, but we believe it when we think it enough. We do this even when we love them so much, and don't want to be away from them, we do it anyway.

You need to talk about this, reaffirm to one another that you are both committed in getting past PTSD, from your side being support, and his being to get treatment and education on managing PTSD. It is a two way street, no different from just marriage itself. PTSD or not, relationships are two sided, and both sides need to come together. Every relationship has its up and downs, but it doesn't mean seperation is the answer if you both still love one another.

desert4now · #6 25-08-2006, 05:16 AM

Hi Andrea,
My hubby too suffers with PTSD. We've been together as a couple for 5 years now and during those 5 years there is a constant pushing away and pulling back. Educate yourself as much as possible. It helps to understand. Loving him and being there for him has turned out to be a blessing for both of us.....although very difficult on my own self image. Reading and writing here helps me the most. The support you will get here will help through those hard times. Learn about PTSD.

Andrea42 · #7 25-08-2006, 07:01 AM

I cannot believe that i have found this site this week and already i feel like so many people care...it is amazing and i apologize for not being too active in posting and replying in other forums...im getting the hang of it though and hopefully with time i am able to help someone...give them advise from the things that i have learned and what has worked for myself and my husband. Thank you all for your caring words and advice... it means the world to me to understand better and be able to help someone i love. Its hard and it will continue to be hard at times im sure....but in the end it will be all worth it.