Fireworks! GOD!

mortiis31 · #1 28-10-2007, 02:42 AM

Hi everyone, sorry for the lack of posting, have been really down in a suicide-like state lately and thought it bad to post on the board here while I was in that mode...

Last night, my partner and I went to a huge fireworks show here in town, there were hundreds of people there, and I felt extremely unsure of myself (and of them), and when 9PM came and the fireworks started to go off, that was the END of it for me.

I gripped my partner's arm tightly, she almost cried out, as soon as I heard the screaming of the first rockets, my memory flashed back to the first night that my father sexually abused me - guyfawks night... the fireworks were spectacular that night, and I've hated them ever since.

With each crack and bang and woosh, I felt it go through my entire body, and I guess Elizabeth knew too, because she really felt for me. Thank god it only lasted 40 minutes, I don't know what I'd have done if it had been a longer time period.

Any one else get this??

XX

batgirl · #2 28-10-2007, 05:13 AM

Yep I do. My trauma was a shooting where I saw others shot and I was shot too, so I can't stand any noises that sound like guns or rifles... fireworks, mufflers backfiring, popping balloons. Actually any loud noise bothers me a lot.

Claire · #3 28-10-2007, 07:54 AM

Me too, my problem is a car crash. The fireworks that squeal make me think a car is braking/skidding. I'm getting better at the sounds but they sometimes make me duck.

reallydown · #4 28-10-2007, 07:55 AM

Hi,

I can relate as well...it reminds me of the war zone...As batgirl says , anythign at all that sounds like guns, rifles etc. is just awful, as are all loud (especially if sudden) noises. I'm already freking out as Halloween is one of those times when ids just go nuts with the fireworks and they usually start a couple of days early and end a day or so after Halloween....So this whole week is going to be oh so fun for me.

kers · #5 28-10-2007, 11:07 AM

I have this problem, too. For the longest time, I couldn't understand why, as my trauma had nothing to do with gunshots, cars, etc., but now I suspect it's because there were slamming doors. Any sharp, loud sounds make me jolt and my heart races.

Sometimes I attenuate to the sound: last night I was at a basketball game and the buzzer made me jump out of my skin until the game and crowd started--then I was not so startled by the buzzer. After an hour, though, I was in sensory overload.

reallydown · #6 28-10-2007, 05:56 PM

OMG they''ve sstarte3d already....Halloween isssn't til Wednesday and tthey've;aready started...I have music on but can't jack up the volume too much as it's late...I can sttitll hear rthem and damn...I'd better go.

mortiis31 · #7 28-10-2007, 11:30 PM

reallydown, you'll get through it, mate. It just takes a little. Crank that volume up, don't worry about the neighbors, they'll understand in the morning, I am sure.

batgirl · #8 29-10-2007, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reallydown

I'm already freking out as Halloween is one of those times when ids just go nuts with the fireworks and they usually start a couple of days early and end a day or so after Halloween....So this whole week is going to be oh so fun for me.

That sucks RD... I am so glad I live in the country away from other people. Do you have ear plugs? Please try to take care of yourself this week.

reallydown · #9 29-10-2007, 04:44 PM

Thanks for the advice mort and Evie. I do have ear plugs but they'r enot as effective as one would hope...maybe I just have crappy ones? Well...and now they've taken to settign them off during the day too...I have a midterm tomorrow and I haven't been able to ffoccus at all. Bah. Sorry to make this thread about me.