Angry and Upset

splost76 · #1 26-10-2007, 08:32 AM

Why can't people step into my shoes, see things from my point of view. We are having company soon, and if my boy is better from the illness he is going through he will be around other family members. That idiot that abused me once will be there, and someone in the family had the audacity to ask if I was going to allow him the chance to hold him. Are they crazy? He abused and screwed me up, and they want me to allow him to hold him. All I think about when I see him, is why not end is worthless life, and I have never thought of allowing him to hold my own children. My family thinks this is uncalled for, they say it happened along time ago, and I say so what it still happened.
Am I wrong to feel this way, am I just being selfish as my parents say?
Lost,
Shane

goingonhope · #2 26-10-2007, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by splost76

I have never thought of allowing him to hold my own children.

Hi splost, Just an opinion, but one I believe worth listening to: The worst thing you could do is betray yourself in this and buckle under pressure. You do what you feel is right and no, it is Not At All selfish.

I'll tell you what is selfish though, and that is your parents trying to manipulate their own way by trying to persuade you into allowing what they want and persuade you into believing that it is you thinking selfishly in this.

I agree with you. It does take some sort of Crazy audacity to ask you if you're going to allow your abuser to hold your son.

I feel strongly about this and certainly do understand your anger and upset.

Splost, So again, you do what doesn't betray you, as you don't owe anyone anything.

Hope

ruddy · #3 26-10-2007, 10:18 AM

Splot,

It sounds to me like you are trying to protect your son from the pain that you suffered. Isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Heck, I probably wouldn't be on this forum if my father had shown the same level of interest. So, my opinion would be: Keep up the good work!

sparta21 · #4 26-10-2007, 11:17 AM

You should be angry and stick to your gut feeling. It is the right one. Other folks, especially family at times, seem to be the worse at viewing things through our eyes. Abuse is not something you will "get over" or "forget". I know it's difficult, but try to stick to your beliefs. You are right, and they are wrong. Thanks for reading, and I hope that helps a bit.

splost76 · #5 31-10-2007, 10:48 AM

thanks for the replies, I am just so upset with the family, and they wonder at times, why I do not call them. I am so sick of people saying it happened in the past so just forget it, how can one forget it, it is who I am and it is so a part of who I am.
Shane