Tabitha, what you are experiencing is all very normal for someone who has been put through what you have. You are the victim, and its ok to accept that. You have been violated in one of the human souls most indecent ways, molestation as a minor, at a point when your not as capable to defend yourself as one generally is as an adult.

To have family members do such an act is pretty much the lowest form of humanity, because these are the very people who's role it is to guide us and protect us into adulthood. There are some seriously sick individuals upon this planet, no doubt about that.

I have no doubt that coming face to face with an offender on the holidays is what through you over the edge, because it would have stimulated ever single event and emotion pretty much well, all the way back to your early childhood.

You need to know, your not alone, help is available, and providing you want to help yourself, there is a far better side to PTSD than where your at now.

Seeing that asswipe brought it all on. I started really dealing with my childhood abuse (as opposed to shoving it back) in the last few years, so I'd been having the nightmares, but everything went into overdrive after the picnic. I feel haunted and I am afraid to sleep. The sleeplessness is what drove me to seek help.

What makes me angrier than what I went through is the disbelief and blaming that occurs when you tell other family members and even authorities. It angers and sickens me that the offenders have more rights than the victims in our society. It feels like society really doesn't value children (especially female children).

You are absolutey correct, and society itself has issues all of its own, and the only way society will change is if people like us, voice our opinions, otherwise society thinks everything is just rosy and it continues along.

The law is made for criminals IMHO, and that is the way it has always been. If your a good person, make a mistake, the law crucifies you, but if you go and rape or kill someone, they give you a couple years behind bars with good behaviour, and if you continually repeat, then they go even more leanient upon you. The law sucks and needs a good overall.

Hi there

All of this stuff is normal, the responses, how you feel...how is anyone supposed to feel when faced with the person that did that to them...
Your reactions are not strange, and are the same for most of us, regardless of the baloney you can hear from many others (whose worst memory is not getting the right Barbie at Christmas or something similar)

Be aware at the same times of the side effects that some people experience from Cymbalta, we all react differently to medications like that, if you are not sure ask your doc next time, especially if you notice anything at all you think is worse than before. The other thing with some medications, is the withdrawal if they are reduced.

The other thing you may need to do, whether here or with your doc is get this out of your system, and not all pent up inside, even if that is through a private mail to one other person, a helpline, letters or conversations with your doc. Whatever is working for you. Once out in the open somewhere (with one or two others) you might then want to focus more on how you are now. We cannot change the past, but until we have openly discussed it somewhere freely, I do not think that we deal with it either.

Good to see you here, if nothing else you will realise that what is happening is a completely normal response to what noone should ever experience.