Numbness for a Long Time - Anyone Relate? - Page 2

TheDeepestScar · #11 19-11-2007, 04:42 AM

I've been numb to pretty much everything for 7 years now. That's when the abuse from my ex husband happened. Yes I was abused as a child but I was thankful to leave. But the abuse from my ex made things that much worse, almost 10 times as bad.

It's hard for me to feel anything, it breeds conflict in my intimate life. My husband has a hard time understand why I have no desire to do anything, why I'm not emotionally expressive.

Though part of that may be the amount of medication that my psychiatrist has me on. I don't think that's all of the reason.

so

txmomof3 · #12 20-11-2007, 09:44 AM

I am fighting with this right now too. My psychologist says that I am using numbness and dissociation as a protective mechanism and that my mind will know when to start letting the walls down. Part of me is thankful...part of me is so frustrated.

How do we break through this numbness? Even if my meds are a factor, I have to stay on them. Once the anti-depressants are out of my system, I get suicidal very quickly.

One thing I am learning to do is look at the numbness as a positive coping mechanism in certain circumstances. I am working on feeling love, joy, excitement, etc. While I am learning this, I am using my ever-present numbness/dissociation to tell my psychologist my history. I have worked with her for 6 months now and the trust is starting to settle in. Hopefully, some of the walls will come down as more trust is built.

sessnme · #13 20-11-2007, 10:19 AM

I learned at an early age that being numb to emotions can prevent hurting. I have now learned because of PTSD that the numbness just covers up the emotional aspect, but brings out a physical pain that far exceeds the numbness I used to feel.
That may not make sense to anybody. My emotional pain has become a physical pain. I bury it all away...

txmomof3 · #14 20-11-2007, 11:58 AM

Sessnme-
It make perfect sense to me. My emtional pain seeps through me in physical pain, yet my brain is not ready to process it as emotional pain. The human body is going to bring the trauma to the surface in anyway it can.