Thanks for the advise Jods!! I love your #2 reason! and i agree!
and desert4now i totally understand where you are coming from... my husband has refused to go to counseling for a couple of years now until i told him that i was tired of all the things he was doing and all the things he was saying and the way he was acting... he has known for a long time that he had this disorder and would blame everything on it, but it got to the point where i told him i was not going to believe him anymore (tough love) and if he wanted me to help him and wanted to him himself he would have to give me a doctors note saying that he really did have a problem...well just to prove to me that he did have PTSD he has now started counseling and has realized that its worth it... i hope it makes sense and this helps...maybe you can try it...good luck!

I am the exact same way towards my wife and kids at times... I am quick-tempered and lash out in verbally cruel ways before I start to catch myself. I am also very controlling, but honestly feel like it is in their best interest at times... like it's gonna save their life one day. Yes, I know I'm warped. I used to leave the house and go sit in the empty ER waiting room at the local VA to cool off when I realized I was too irritated (until they threw me out). Anyway, when I behave like this, it throws me back into another cycle of depression because realizing I hurt my family is the last thing I want to do and I feel so guilty for causing hurt and emotional scars (especially to my kids), it makes me believe that my family would be so much better off without me, especially with all the life insurance I have set up on myself that they would get. What's so f*cked up is that I am on edge out in public because of all the delusional dangers I face, yet many times I wish something would come along and give me eternal peace.

Well Mac... when your ready, we can help you, and more importantly, you can help yourself, as only you can truely fix yourself by wanting to change more than nothing else.

Are you in counselling still Mac? Have the US military just loaded you up on medication is another problem?

Hey Mac
For what its worth I'm sure your wife & kids love you very much.
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Please dont think like that as it was a young man that thought that way is the reason that my hubby has PTSD.

My husband is a Iraq vet also, along with A-stan. When he first started going to sessions, I went with him. We'd go about once a week, then less as things got a bit better. Our VA councilor believes treating the whole family, not just the vet. He does a group sessions for vets only, but he has helped to educated me so much.

Hi Medicchick, welcome to the forum. Smart therapist is what I must say. People always forget about the family, but slowly society and the physician world is learning. PTSD is cruel, not just to the sufferer, but anyone in close proximity to the sufferer, generally spouses and children.

I am glad you got a good therapist and has educated the entire family to cope with PTSD.

I agree with Anthony, very smart therapist.
Medicchick Im gald you were able to go with your husband every week until things got better...My hubby goes once a month and by himself so far... Ive gone to one session recently for the first time and i guess the counselor wanted to see if i had any questions or concerns...the usual im guessing...but other than that it seems its for him. His family doesnt really know whats even going on with him. I am the closest person to him and i get it all whether its happiness or mood swings or whatever else there is....