I'm sorry, I didn't make my last post very clear!

I think I have affected Matt with my PTSD, not his therapist!!

Hehe, I will clarify it later but I've had less than 6 hours sleep in 72 hours, just worked two midnight shifts and took a sleeping pill a few minutes ago. I shall zonk out first, reply later! Have a great day guys!!

Bec

Hi Bec....Nancy here. I also have PTSD and Chronic PTSD. I am pretty sure all my sons except the youngest have PTSD. If only from the effects of me. My two oldest sons are 18 and 20. The younger 2 are here with me. My third son shows signs of PTSD and has been acting out in a recent breaking and entering and vandalism............ not so nice at age 10. Their father died over 4 years ago of drug overdose. I suspect there is a large issue there for them both. The older two do not have the same father but lived more through more hell.

I called last week (with a loving push) to get my sons help. I knew to do it and have been procrastinating because of my shame of not being a good enough parent. I have to let that guilt and pride go to help my sons. Its strategic therapy where they come in the home. I am a bit nervous and excited for us to begin the healing process though it will be painful too. Which reminds me, I need to discuss this with my therapist so she can work with the therapist who will be coming here. The strategic is minimum 5 hours a week. From what Ive been told, it is intense and I am afraid its going to throw me off the deep end. I havent been the best parent though I suppose living through my childhood full of every form of abuse then carryng it into my adulthood attempting to change the long ago stories (my insanity), raising kids by myself, they have turned out well so far. My 10 year old, who will be 11 at the end of the month, was with another bigger kid who is living in hell right now. The few people who know my son is shocked he had a part in the crime. The charges went down to vandalism which is because I work for the town I live in and they know my son. I didnt ask themt o be be easy on him as I want him to understand the consequences of his actions. Punishment will be community service. It will go off his record by age 18 should he not get in any more trouble. I see it as a cry for help from both boys. The place they did this to is a favorite place of thiers being the baseball field where they have both been very much welcomed for 3 years. Good boys who are confused and misunderstood by confused single moms just trying to take care of thier kids. The boy my son was with has suffered much more abuse. I am hoping the therapy is court ordered so the other boy has a chance at a decent life.

Anyhow, I am rambling, just wanted you to know you arent alone in the Chronic PTSD. I have been truly blessed with having AA 12 step program as the foundation for my recovery process with PTSD also. I know if I hadnt gotten sober, I wouldnt be sitting here right now posting this.

For me, this healing will take more than all the therapists in the world to assist me. I have to have a Higher Power and this HP has led me to the exact people in my life now who have went before me on this new adventure of healing who unconditionally love me and are guiding me on this journey. The journey IS the destination.

Take care
Nancy in VA

Okay, hopefully I remember what I am trying to point out here!

Anthony (God I have a hard time spelling that!):

I have a different doctor now. The two that did breach are NOT allowed to even peek at my file or they lose their licsence; however, that doesn't mean I trust doctors! I'm not sure if I ever will again.

I know that no matter the type of PTSD it's not curable but can be controlled. I'm sorry if I gave the impression otherwise! Both therapists have confirmed that.

PTSD is not a common label here. In fact it's very rare. We both have had test after test that we had to do, along with numerous interviews about reactions, the situations etc... They have really taken their time with this one...

Matt did not recieve continous therapy! In fact his first therapist was a joke. The only thing they would talk to Matt about was his "feelings" as in making sure he could identify them. Therapy was less then six months. After that I fought with CAS for MONTHS over this case. They just kept repeating the mantra that without evidence (Matt refused to talk to them or the police) there was nothing they could do. Then the schools kept trying to slap the ADD or ADHD label on my son. I fought them on that. I even went throught two years of tests and appointments and had the final report sent to the school board stating " there are NO SIGNS of ADD or ADHD" before they would drop it. Ealier this year, Matt made a false report to the police and started getting in trouble at school. So, I went back to FACS and demanded counselling AGAIN. Matt's therapist just moved here from the States. He's brand new (as in no politics involved) to our area and has worked with children like Matt before. He's great! He is going to do long term therapy with Matt.

I believe that Matt living with me with uncontrolled PTSD for his entire life predispensed him to it. However, the abuse is what caused it. His symptoms began shortly after I left that abusive:cussing: . I have no idea if the therapists or anyone else agrees with that. But, I taught Matt how to react (and I don't react well.) So, in my line of thinking, with the abuse... I could be way off but that's what I think. (maybe I'm just guilting myself??? negative thinking process???)

Hope I didn't miss any points there..

Bec

P.S. Hi Nancy. I'm soo sorry to hear that. Sounds like you have your hands full right now! I hope it all goes well for you.

Welcome, Bec. Good to have you here.

Yer, I know what your saying, but I still have faith in some of them. Whilst IMHO the majority of doctors are idiots, and are out for nothing but the bottom line figure and their top of the range BMW, some are still in medicine for the patients, and that leaves us some optimism atleast.

I guess that is what I was looking for... and not the quick hand me down label to pump medication into you and gather some extra kickbacks for themselves...

This is what really pisses me, and the reason why I always advise people to shop around for experienced and experts in PTSD and trauma therapy, not just any old counsellor or physician, because most haven't a clue.

A doctor said to me once that everyone needs to start somewhere, and thus must take on clients, make mistakes and learn, which I understand and can agree to a certain point, however; where I draw the line is when doctors, counsellors and physicians cannot admit they are not experienced in the field, and instead just attempt to mask the client with the thought they know what their doing. The doctor had no response to that one.

And I must absolutely agree with you. I know some people here have mentioned that they think their children have PTSD because of their uncontrolled PTSD... it is a fact that children of a sufferer will often display symptoms if exposed to enough of the parents problems, but that is generaly where the line is drawn, in that they only show symptoms, symptoms which can be cured with good counselling. I think sufferers do need to understand this statement, because if they believe their children are showing symptoms, they need to get the children into an experience counsellor who is both child and trauma experienced... but not actually think that their child has PTSD, because that takes a traumatic experience still, or prolonged serious parental abuse, which is the trauma to them.

I am actually really glad you have found us bec, in that I think you have a lot to share with others about your experience, and especially that both you and your child have PTSD from traumatic events. Quite rare to find and garnish that experience, because whilst you may learn to control your PTSD, you child may not as quickly, thus the pressure exerted upwards as a parent and sufferer is quite abnormal in general circumstances. I think the sheer learning ability that you have to endure in regards to not only coping with your own PTSD, but also cope with your childs in the parental sense, is going to make you one very experience person in regard to effective techniques.

I am really looking forward to chatting with you lots more bec, as I believe your experience is going to shine some very new perspectives on PTSD and coping mechanisms. Sorry... I just love to learn...

Bec,

I have nothing to add to these posts, other than welcome.

GRRR, I had written this nice long post and wham! I was knocked off!!

I'll think about reposting it in a bit... :cussing:

Bec

Okay, I'll try this again!

Thank you for the welcome Kerri-Ann!

I don't mind sharing what I'm learning. This is all new to me (well sort of.)

I struggle with how different Matt and I are with PTSD symptoms. I've been like this since my pre-teen years and I'm in my thirties now. So I have difficulty with identifying the symptoms because it's just how I am. I don't know anything else. I have no point of reference to compare this too.

Matt is entirely different. I can pin point exactly when he changed and see how it has effected him. Poor kid. Not only does he have to deal with his trauma but he has to deal with me too. That's an awful lot to ask an 11 year old to deal with!

Where I am aggressive, he's passive. I pace and snap when I'm stressed out, he holes up in his room and plays video games. We have some big differences, yet are so much alike. I have a lot to learn.

The big thing I have to do is learn how to parent differently. My old style (before his PTSD) does not work well with his PTSD. I've also learned that children deal with PTSD completly different from adults!

Somedays, it's just very overwhelming. We also have no one to turn to in our home. If both of us are just too exhuasted to get up and do chores or whatever, then they just don't get done. (Matt helps me clean the house, we share the chores.) I've gotten my Dad to start mowing my lawn for me but that's due to allergies!! So we struggle not only with the internal effects but also with just day to day living.

This is quite the challenge!

Bec

Bec,

That's PTSD for you. Somedays you can do, others you can't. Its hard without support and you will see I have said that many times on this forum. Hard for everyone, those with PTSD and those without. Its good that Matt helps out, poor mite though........PTSD at his age. I wonder how well this might be managed so that the impact of it is reduced over his life span. I guess what I am saying is that he has had it for a relatively short time compared to you, so perhaps earliest intervention as you are now doing might result in better outcomes for him long term. Lets hope so.

Hi Bec...welcome. I'm sorry if I repeat soemthing others have said...I just can't concentrate logn enough to read all the posts...but, I also have trouble sharing everything that happened with my counsellor...I'd just sit there and we'd stare at each other in silence for most of the session...She still doesn;t have all the facts but...we've recently agreed to try through e-mail...I've sent a couple of e-mails to her and I found it much easier than to actually talk about it...even though it was still hard and I was freaking out as I was writing them...Still, maybe you can ask your therpaist if that's soemthing s/he is willing to try with you...Hope that helps.