I felt the prescence of someone while I was napping Tues. and lo and and behold I opened my eyes and it's the maintanance man.....So I'm freaked!!!!The mm is not to be in my apartment to do a repair when I'm not home in the first place.....so if he knocked....that means I'm not able to give my permission for entry and he shouldn't enter with out me letting him in.....I will be contacting the manager via phone and then type a letter for her requesting the mm be retrained on entry procedures.....I'm not doing well.....Flashbacks from when I was raped....or sometimes I feel immobilized like in cased in concrete.....I have to get this problem all straightened out and I'm continuing to have problems with tasks that require moving....LOOSING THE PEACE

Hoy crap, Wild. That would have scared the pants off of me! I'm glad your working on resolving it. Remember the basics, grounding, breathing, self-care.. etc... Hope you feel better soon!

bec

Wild,

I am not sure what the laws are in your state, but here in Ma. were have very strict rights aimed at protecting the tenant.

Sorry that this had to happen. Yes it is scary.

Wild,

That is terrifying. I cannot imagine what he was thinking to just come in without being welcomed. I hope that your land lord will take actions to make sure this never happens again. Are you allowed to put a chain lock on your door? Just a thought. I hope that you are recovering. You are in my thoughts.

Nie

that's creepy. sorry you had to go through it.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can totally relate.
I have to agree with Bec on this one. Remember to breath, take deep slow breaths. Ground yourself. Sooth yourself. Take it easy.
I'm just glad you're safe and it's over and that you're doing something about it. I think that can be very important for people like us. So that we don't feel so powerless.
Take care of yourself, Morgan

Thanks for all the support!!! I still haven't typed the letter to the manager and the assistant director of the housing authority.....will get that done tomorrow at the latest.....I was to go out and take a friend who just got home from the hospital to the store....just too anxious to leave my apartment.....so I lied to him and said I was sick to my stomach.....I have to go out tomorrow morning though as I have to go to the bank and get my rent paid...so will take him to the store at the same time....I just went back to bed this afternoon....I was sooooo stressed out!!! I am doing laundry this evening [in my building] been trying all week to get it done.....I am doing deep breathing!! ......PEACE FOR THE PLANET

I have always been paranoid about this (entry by manager or landlord without advance notice) and after I learned my apartment had been entered without any notice (neither before nor after) by the manager one day, I changed the locks on my door. Technically it is against my lease, but they are only going to know if they try to get in.......... and when they can't get in and they raise a stink, I can ask, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING TRYING TO LET YOURSELF INTO MY HOME??? :-P

The changed locks at least make me feel safe, they eliminate a lot of paranoia for me. Now I know some outsider can't just turn a key and walk in on me at some random moment. I will take getting "into trouble" and maybe even evicted, over having someone walk in uninvited and unannounced. This is just a "hang-up" for me -- always has been.

wildfire, given your history and the root of your illness (rape) I would think you are completely justified asking your landlord & manager for special handling of your apartment... explain what you went through and what you are going through... they have no idea you are sitting in your home freaking out if you don't tell them... explain to them that you do think you have the right to feel safe in your own home, and if people are just walking in without having scheduled an appointment with you, you DO NOT feel safe. You're not barring them from entering, just requesting a simple appointment so that you are not thrown back into rape survival mode. Approach it as a matter of courtesy... and asking for their help so that they do not make you literally ill.

I mean, really :-P how can they not understand that?!?!?

Go get 'em, girl. They have no right to frighten you. You do have the right to feel safe in your own home. *hug*

:) Bailey

I just finished writing the letter to my manager and to the housing authority dude that looks after tenant complaints.....I still feel rather upset by the whole incident!!!!!....If they don't reply to my letter and get this problem fixed then I think I'll send a letter to the local newspaper... I don't know when I'll feel safe again......Thanks for everyone's support..SEEKING THE PEACE