Later he will see you were concerned and only trying to help. Now puking for weeks or days on end is really not that uncommon. I get that way at times too as so many here. I hate nausea as normally if I get sick once it is everything I have to get it under control within a week now, this is actually improvement. May I give a suggestion instead of going to the doctor over a symptom? Sprite, crackers, and ensure (a nutritional shake). Those combined seem to really help. The first two can calm the tummy for intermittent times long enough to get an ensure down so I am not dizzy and faint from lack of food.

Does he allow visits? If so make a care package of these items and if you can go in the place he is at put these in the fridge for him as if he allows you in for the process of just putting them in the fridge so they are ready to go does show care. It shows you care and are caring for him without him being overbearing. Since vomiting is hard and takes awhile to get under control I suggest at least a case of sprite zero (no sugar or caffeine as both are bad) and it is the bubbliest out there for burping. 2 boxes of saltines or a few bags of oyster crackers (bite size saltines). Several cans of the nutritional shakes.

It is very tricky when to call in outside help. You will learn in time just like you are now when it is important to "tattle" and not. Doctors become so much of our life they are overbearing to us too and a loved one going to them can feel like we are a kid being tattled on and invading our space or that we are treated like a child who cannot function alone. Albeit that may be close to true at times it won't help. Nice thing about docs, we have a set appointment and know that for an hour on a planned day we have to deal with it. Surprise call out of the blue probably overwhelmed him. Now if he gets suicidal all bets are off. And I mean really suicidal, not the angry threats just to piss you off. If you have not had this pleasantry yet you are lucky. It is sometimes used to make you feel like shit back if you are making them feel bad even if unintentional.

You are learning. Keep asking questions and I suggest take to use the ones you think he will respond to and the ones that are unanimous in response from us. You are doing great, keep it up.

Thanks for the encouragement Veiled, it means so much. And thanks for your detailed responses. I can't tell you how grateful I am.

I assumed the vomiting was a symptom. I'm not sure he would take it very well if I suggested that though. He would be like "Oh piss off, stop being stupid. I have gastro! What the hell would you know anyway?" (I admit that is me expecting/being prepared for the worst).

I did suggest dry crackers and lemonade actually. He kind of tried, but that was over 3 weeks ago when he was still at home. Hey, I just realised, it really has been more then 2 weeks that he has been on and off vomiting. I am beginning to really think his GP does not understand PTSD at all. I am disappointed to say the least. I would have hoped he'd have some clue, especially since he is taking a fairly keen interest. I thought he was a Dr who was fairly full bottle on mental illness etc. and therefore would know these things, or at least know the importance of checking specifically how sensitive to be....

No visits, no. I tried once 10 days ago and we argued. I need to get myself under control of my emotions better I think. I would love to make up a care pack and take it to him. I have wanted to do it for 2 weeks in various shapes and forms. For example, I feel a need to take him a clean towel as I am pretty sure he only took 1 and can't imagine he has washed it - ew!! But I fear if I show up at all he will lose it. Especially now after the upsetting message he sent me today after the Dr calling him. Maybe I will leave it for a day or two. Only thing is, he tells me how sick he is, then a day later when I ask how he is feeling he always says better. Then next thing I know he is sick again. So I am scared if I take him a care pack in a day or two he will be better by then (or at least think he is) and tell me to stop smothering him, he is fine! I assume if he actually is still sick it may be well received, but otherwise not. And then he will treat me like I am being so stupid and should just get a life...

I did buy him some probiotic drinks for stomach function yesterday and I messaged to ask if he wanted me to drop them off. He said he was too busy and feeling better, but thanks anyway. He then said he may drop by the house today to get them. Is it possible he genuinely does not want me to do things for him so he doesn't have to feel like he "owes" me anything? He has sheepishly said thank you to the 2 or 4 little things I have taken him.

I fully get how the Dr could have overwhelmed him and how it could have seemed like I was tattling and treating him like a kid, and I am yet to make the call to the Dr, but when I do, if he gives me any reason to, I am going to suggest he do some reading on PTSD before he ever try speaking to my hubby again!! I never expected him to screw things up like this. So angry. Maybe he is an easy target for me right now.

He has been suicidal twice I guess. Once it was when he was having an 8 day downer, mostly sleeping. He was coming out of it, about day 6, and I was trying to encourage him to go outside to cut the dogs toenails as I can't do it without cutting her. I said how happy it woud make her and she would give him big kisses afterwards etc.. He told me he felt like if he just did nothing he couldn't stuff anything up. Then he cried quite a lot and it became howling and hanging onto me while he rocked and said "I don't want to live" over and over. Big problem is I was very messed up at the time too and also crying and I told him neither did I. But I don't think he feels like that now, or has since. I hope not anyway. I sure as hell don't. I really worry about hi getting suicidal now as where he is he is alone, most of the time anyway. At least I HOPE SO!! If you get what I mean.

I will have more questions the more I think about this and about my next moves. I might validate my ideas on here I think. It helps me think things thru in my own mind if nothing else. I find myself rehearsing phone calls to him so I can get only the briefest and most important info across and from him each time. And making sure to keep it to as few points as possible. Always being sure to let him know I care as well and that I am sorry he feels so blue. I figured as much with what you say about him later seeing I am just concerned. I am just swallowing all the offence I take to what he says right now and staying calm. I figure then it won't feed his need to insult me etc. I guess.

Thanks again.

Simply by going off what you have written, yes. I would still do the pack and just drop off on the porch right now. Leave a note saying "just in case" and leave it at that. I would really not worry about an ulcer right now, though it is possible it will likely be at the bottom of his list of concerns. Trust me you both have bigger fish to fry. Look for things beyond probiotics, look for the "old people" and malnourished kid's drinks. Being malnourished will not help his symptoms and attitude.

A GP will honestly have no clue how to handle PTSD. Once mine figured out this may be the issue he had me on 10 mg xanax a day and was a year later. Hubby says 12 mgs but I do not recall it and if I was on that much it is a no brainer why I do not! A GP is not trained for this at all no matter how intrigued they are. Real training comes from living it. I am willing to bet Kathy has learned more than she knew was possible on it and she has mental health background.

Ummm being alone, I think from how you describe he would be... Too much working and puking for the other nonsense.

Just do not "swallow" what he says though. You internalize things and can make yourself ill. There is a huge difference of being capable of letting things slide off to swallowing them. Remember you are not a door mat. That will help you later and now plus him. Just because one is not a door mat does not mean they cannot be supportive and patient. If my hubby does not come here to clarify maybe Kathy can help you with that aspect. Guess that part is best suited for the carers. As I have stated before it takes a very special person to deal with this. I have no choice... Not sure why the hell my hubs puts up with it!

Seems to me your hubby puts up with it because he recognises an intelligent and truly caring person who is worth it!

I will do the care pack thing, but maybe in the morning as it is raining now andif I have to leave it outside (no porch) it will all be ruined.

And I am not worried about an ulcer at all. I would be happy to hear that's what it is to be honest. Easily treated. But I did call the Dr's and our GP wasn't there but I spoke to the Sr there who knows us well. She said my hubby was in today and she took a blood test for him. Seems they are checking for an ulcer. I just wonder whether hubby went of his own accord (great if he did) or if the Dr called him 2 days ago after I spoke to him and told him to come in.

He was on 15mg of Xanax a day for about 6 weeks at first. He really doesn't need them anymore (so he says). He began to hate them as he said they made him feel "dumb" when he called people by the wrong name and stuff like that. Eventually he was only having one (5mg) or a half when he needed them and when he was dpoing that they would makew him VERY drowsy, to the point he would start to pass out and jolt out of it as he did. No problems at all going off them.

I will try to let things slide off me rather than swallowing them. I think I kind of already do. I just tell myself, for example when I ready today him telling me that I "make his life hell" that he does not mean it and he can't help it. It hekps, but still hurts. My colleagues at work know not to say anyhting anymore when they hear me sniffling and reaching for the tissues. It just makes it worse.

So I think I am pretty clear on the whole gently feeling my way with conact with him. Completely leaving him alone if he has had a blast at me, for a bit, or gently continuing to show my love and support as long as he is responding, but what about a bit of feeling?

I mean, it all seems so strictly business and there is no personality to it. Is it a nice idea or a bad one to drop in a real little bit of chit chat if he seems receptive. For example, "hey, got another payrise" or " you'll never believe that the dead ond tomato bush in the vegetable garden has not even got any leaves but has 4 tomotoes on it!" ? (- it really does!!)

Comments like these thrown in every now and then might help him remember he enjoys my company again. Or will they just seem annoying to him?

I can now confirm he is receiveing Hypnosis and Neurofeedback in cominbination.

But like I said, he has only had one session and that was weeks ago. He said he plans to return to it in the New Year, so fingers crossed.