Sorry I haven't been on much this week but tis the season to be running around doing stuff.

Good on you for trying to inform you family, it's not always an easy thing to do.

I'm glad to hear you have treated yourself to a hairdo, bet you look great! Don't forget men don't tend to notice when we do that (even without the ptsd ) so don't be to disappointed if he doesn't notice.

I know it's easy to say but try to enjoy your time with your family for Christmas & don't feel guilty if hubby isn't there to share it with you. It's ok to enjoy things so try to enjoy the day.

Hey Jodee, don't apologise!! I am sure you have been getting on wioth things, working, getting geared up for Cgrissy, getting realoy for family comeing Monday night!! And that's all great! Don't forget that!

Yeh the harido does kinda look pretty hot. My sister couldn;t believe it.. she goes, "oh, you look so pretty" That was nice to hear.

Hubbt actually came home this arvo to grab a few thingsand if he noticed he didn't say anything.... I didn't even think of it until a while after he left.

It was not such a bad interaction. I kept and talking to an ansolute minimum. Made him a drink but din not give it to him. When he came in (from out in the shed) I just told him it was there. No pushing. And didn't go out to him on the shed. Offered to serve him up some dinner which was just ready as he arrived, he said no time. Left it at that.
Proud of me!!

Then as he was rushing off, I quickly passed on a message from my Grandmother (who he LOVES!) that she said she hopes he is feeling OK and hopes to see him for Christmas, if he is up to it, but if he isn;t that's OK too.. Instead of yelling, "I will be too busy!" or "I am not going to come to your family Xmas!" He just said "Yeh, OK, gotta go"... so I think that may be a sort of positive sign. But I am not getting my hopes up....

This is a damn slow process, but I still think it is all moving in the right direction...

Merry Christmas to you and the family if we don't chat before Jods!! I hope you have a peaceful relaxing time and the kids are good!

Far out, sorry about all the typos - I am the WORST!

Update on how the family are all doing coming to terms with hubby's PTSD -
Tonight I had dinner with his Mum and her parents. Since I have told them they will not be seeing hubby opr I for Christmas. I don't even want to see some of tha family right now, too angry, but definitely wanted to see (and cuddle) his mum and grandparents.

It was really really nice. I thought I would not even want to talk about hubby, but that;'s only cos I expected it to be a negative and naggy and I already decided if that started I was going to calmy say, "If we aren't going to discuss positive aspects of this, I would rather not discuss it" But I didn't need to. The fairly anxious state I got into for the hour or so before I got there was totally unnecessary. The conversation was really quite good. No negative stuff at all.

There was a fair bit of analysing and then me trying to explain why he is acting the way he is and how he is feeling that makes him do that, how is so stressed about a couple things there is no room for anything else and that anything else that gets thrown in is like torture for him etc.

All in all his grandparents (especially his grandfather, who doesn't normally say too much when the topic is matter of the heart, so to speak) seem to really get it. I hadn't really expected that. But geez, what a relief. Not that I ever worried about them doing anything to overwhelm him, as I know they would not bacause they are very passive charaters, but the way I see it is that they are the matriarch and patriarch of the family and they will lead the way in many ways for everyone else. I was also a bit worried about getting an elderly couple to see things from a fairly "modern" point of view. But all seems good.

Also seems as thought the couple who had the disagreement with hubby and "blasted him" and have been very hurt by him are possibly also starting to come round. Mother in law told me they read the material I sent. She did not say they understand it or agree or anything though. But mother in law and the wife of the couple have agreed to go together to see hubby on Friday to help with some bookwork.

OK, this bookwork visit worries me. For a start, I am not at all confident that they will be able to go in there and act/talk etc in a gently supportive manner without stressing him out, especially given that they plan on "interfering" (as he will see it) in something that is his and he thinks he is managing just fine at (he most certailnly is NOT).

I said I would mention it to him within the next couple of days to "plant a seed". Decided if I get a tense reaction from him I will suggest (or more likely insist) they give it a miss. Not willing to chance this slowly but surely miniscule progress we have made the past 2-3 weeks. No matter how badly the bookwork need updating. Only problem is, there are tax matters that need to be dealt with, or there could be trouble, so unfortunately we may have no choice. I thinkI just have to passively play a role in ensuring this is done in the best way possible... it is still 5 days before when they plan to go. Hopefully he will be a bit better by then. By this time it will be 5 weeks since he moved out of our home.