I feel I have dealt with the pain as much as possible from the past, somethings will never be over with the whole abuse thing. I get most upset when they say forgive and forget. I am not upset with my father and that abuse, he had reason although bad, but he was fighting the devil inside of him, he was in the military for twenty something years, and I feel this is what caused his issues. My father is a different man, now, he has had therapy and does lots better with anger issues, and all, but the uncle there is no way to forgive or see from his point of view. Some say maybe he was abused and this is why he did it, not everyone that is abused goes and abuses others, so this by no means is a reason to forgive his actions. I also think that by attempting to forget just gives more to him, he can abuse others if we the abused forget the whole thing. I would never tell someone that life is easy for some of so called survivors, but i met someone the other day that had gone through somethings that were pretty rough, and maybe worse than I. I know we cannot judge our own experiences by others, but sometimes, it helps put ours in a better or different focus or light. I feel that somethings I suffered will be there for the rest of my life, there is physical damage that was done to me, that can never be fixed, and so I face something for the rest of my duration. Some days, weeks, and months are harder than others, and sometimes, I think the worse, and I would not be the first or the last to think of harsh things for myself like suicide. (although I am not suicidal at this moment) But I have been in those shoes and have a scar to show it, it was during a very low point in my life, and I could never tell someone that I would never think this way again, I am coming to believe that this trial with PTSD is life long, and their are side effects just like with an alcoholic and or druggist.

Shane, I beg to differ with your self reflection upon your past. If everything was just ok as you seem to believe, then these problems would not be present within you now. Your in denial if you ask me, and you need to face the facts that the past is still haunting you, regardless how much you seem to think its not. There is pain in your past, there is negativity from your past that is causing you your current conflict. You actually admitted to some of it, being that you have come to your own conclusions surrounding your father; yet you have not your uncle. Who ever said you had too though? There is no reason to forgive an abuser, it is a personal choice for each individual. If you cannot forgive him, then you must accept that, as nobody should be telling you to forgive him. More the point is that you must believe within yourself what your saying. If you hate him, then hate comes with feelings and it is these feelings you must identify and accept as your brain cannot just accept hate by itself. You must believe your own feelings, because at present you do not and are in denial of this.