It seems many do not quite grasp the fact that PTSD is indeed an illness, and a very serious one at that - the most serious of the anxiety disorders, and the most deadly. Many simply do not survive; this is sadly the case in my family, as two of my PTSD sufferers are deceased - one from suicide, and the other from drunk driving as a direct result of PTSD. My third PTSD sufferer, my daughter, is still living however we have had some close calls with her. Though doing well at the moment, in the past she has engaged in risk-taking behaviours which could have proved deadly, and additionally she has made several suicide attempts.

She works very dilligently upon herself, and we give her full credit for that. However, part of the reason she is doing well now is also because of my husband and I, and other family. We are supportive of her. We certainly do not try to sabotage her healing nor exact revenge upon her for having hurt us, and believe me, she has hurt us, very deeply at times. She ran away from us for several years, we lost contact with her completely, and at one point we thought her dead. It was most difficult, and we were both angry and frightened for her. However now that we are reunited, it is water under the bridge. She has an illness, we accept that, and we do not wish to make matters worse for her by constantly reminding her of her past transgressions. She carries far too much guilt on her own; we needn't add to it.

No matter how upset you are with your PTSD sufferer, no matter what they have done to you and your family in the past, if you truly care about them, please do not make matters worse for them. Doing so is playing with fire. You may think you have the right to revenge, however; your sufferer, no matter what they have done, is already in extreme pain - guilt, depression, extreme stress, not to mention flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance and other anxiety symptoms in the extreme. Any anxiety which you yourself feel currently, they feel tenfold. There is no comparison. This is why they are diagnosed with an illness and you are not.

Ask yourself the following: Do you really wish to push your sufferer to the point of self-harm? How would you feel if they attempted suicide after being pestered or pushed by you? This is a very real possibility if you push them too far. Yes, it is their choice to end their own life, however do you honestly wish to have a part in that? What if your sufferer is the father or mother of your children? How will your children will feel in future if you have helped to destroy the life of their parent, and intentionally so? If you still feel justified in getting your revenge against them, then my suggestion is no contact until such time as you are able to control yourself. Yes you have been hurt, some of you have been hurt very badly, and I comprehend that as it has happened to me as well. However, from sad experience, I know that being right and getting even is not worth the life of my PTSD sufferer. When they are gone forever, it is too late.

My daughter recently quoted Dr. Phil, and I will as well: "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" Do you wish to be part of the problem, or part of the solution? Do you wish to wallow in self-pity, or do you wish to take the high road and make a positive difference in your family? Your choice.