I started therapy for PTSD again in August after doing nothing for many years. I went back to church hoping some spirituality would help me. I can't seem to get myself together at all. My memory and thought patterns are irratic to the point that it is even obvious to ME. I am trying to do the "group" thing with the intensive out-patient program as I just got out of the hospital last Wednesday. I feel like I am lost in the room. I have found no one in my area who has experienced anything close to what I'm dealing with. How can I expect them to understand what they don't know about?

I went to group today for the 1st time. In one group, we played word games like "who or what am I"..... Huh? Did I miss something? Why are we literally playing games? I found myself getting irritable & annoyed. I am not a "group" person at best, much less playing games. I have always held my story close to me & simply going to group already feels like an intrusion.
Am I trying to ride a dead horse? If anyone has some insight, please share it with me. I don't know how to get out of this black ugly hole.

You answered your own problems here.... you hold it all close to you, which means you hold all the pain. You cannot compare trauma, and honestly, what happened to you has nothing to do with you healing trauma itself. Trauma consists emotion, not facts of the event itself. PTSD feeds from those emotions, which creates symptoms, which makes you very ill and annoyed.

If you want to get better, you have to simply really want it, and the first part of that is letting go of your trauma by talking about it as much as possible to begin with, pulling it all apart to what you feel.

yes, nonabug, I do suggest you at least give therapy a try for at the very least six sessions. lol, love ya girl,
Donna-Lynne
the other satanic abuse case

As the others have said, hang on and keep trying the therapy. as for word games I have been in groups that use things like this as ice breakers. Groups can be very helpful, even if someone hasn't experienced the same type of experiences you have, you will find overlaps of different illnesses or experiences that can help you cope.

Hang in there