Hi
I have recently told my employer that I am not coping again and they have been great. They have offered to pay for 6 sessions of therapy for me which is great.

The reasons why I'm not coping is that I have given up my meds ( i have no choice in this as i have a phobia about them and want to get pregnant), my R**e Crisis counselling is over (you only get a set amount of sessions as they are a charioty and have limited funding), I can't see my psychologist because she is far too expensive for me to be able to afford now (£136 per hour!) and she's on long term sick leave, I don't talk to people around me about how I am, I haven't had any counselling or help with this since November because I'm still on the waiting list for an NHS counsellor (have been waiting 8 months for this and I still have another 6 to wait at least - I can't manage without talking for that long) and I'm failing to cope with work. Not a very long list at all hehehehe

So anyway, I see this new counsellor tomorrow and I'm worried about it. I'm going to have to start from scratch again and I really dont know if i can cope with it. I know i'm just going to be in floods of tears and a complete mess but I know from past experience that it will help. I know i need someone to talk to in real time desperately but once the sessions are over i'm back to square one again with no long term help. She is a relationship counsellor and I don't think she specialises in PTSD (I will confirm or not whether this is the case tomorrow of course) - I hear on this site that it really is important to see someone who specialises in trauma or PTSD. But i dont think there is much PTSD support available round here as I live in an isolated area.

My GP told me that most counselling sessions only last six weeks anyway and im also worried that when I do get an NHS counsellor assigned to me that I will only get another 6 sessions. There's no way that my issues can be sorted out that quickly. And then I'll have to start all over again. Just seems a bit futile to be starting from fresh every six sessions or so. It can take longer than that to build up the trust to tell them just some of the major issues that goes on in my head so how is that ever going to be dealt with in 6 weeks?

Seems like the only option I have is to run myself into debt and pay for a psychologist or counsellor. And i think that would do a lot of harm to my marriage and therefore just make things worse.

Grrrr - no viable long term options.

Sorry for venting about that but its good to get that frustration out a bit.

Anyone else having a problem getting long term help, feeling like this or have any advice?

write things down, so that you can make sure your therapist can get the full extent of what you say, if need be you can just hand the peice of paper for him/her to read. The more information you can get to them right at the beginning might help them start further along in the process.

In Canada there are various resources that allow for therapy to be paid for by salary, there also some free groups that help. insurance here doesn't cover anything. I personally have agreed to draining my bank account, as I know the process works. I however don't see a physchologist but a Psycho-Therapist, a person with a Masters in Social work, he is very well trained and is 100 dollars cheaper.

Anyway I don't know if any of that is availalble in the UK, but might be worth investigatin

Thank you for your advice Waif.

After reading your commnet I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to print off my diary even though I have only just started on it. Maybe that will help her to help me. Just handing her a piece of paper might make things easier on me too, although I know that it is good to force myslef to talk about these things. However, it will mean that we can deal with solutions to the problem rather than me just breaking down in front of her. That is about as far as I have got with previous counsellors so I think they spent more time trying to make sure I was going to get through the day rather than dealing with helping me to find recovery solutions - a matter of damage limitation I guess.

The NHS offers free help but as I say it does take ever such a long time to get seen. There's always the Samaritans but I have had a bad experience with them already on their hotline and I'm not inclined to go back to people who accuse me of making things up. Maybe they hadn't had the right sort of training to deal with me in an appropriate manner. I will do some research to see if there are any other free groups over here.

I don't have insurance but it might be a more affordable route to go down if it covers counselling and if I am allowed to apply for it in hind sight. I will look into that too. Thank you.

I'm afraid i have already drained my bank account though lol. Could always increase the mortgage?!?!?! Hmmmm. A psycho-therapist is definitely worth considering for me. I once went to one when I was younger as I was very stressed about having exzema all over my face and body. It's gone now. Somthing that i now think was a pathetic thing to worry about in comparison to what I am now going through.

Thank you so much for those ideas again and for taking the time to answer me. Hoping your therapy speeds you on your road to recovery. Take care.

Hi mightsurvive,

I remember a few days after I started coming here I started with a new therapist, too. It was pretty nerve wracking. It's turned out to be one of the best things I've done.

Being open and honest and getting to deal with so much in my life has helped me to, not necessarily free myself, but to deal with it like I've never done before. That's made all of the difference for me.

I wish you luck with your new therapist.

Lisa

Hiya Marlene

Its hard to start from scratch again isnt it but i did it. Not quite sure how i feel about it but i told absolutely everything of my story and i know that is meant to be good for me. I think its going to take a while to sink in though.

So glad to hear that it has helped you and that it does actually result in having such a positive influence on how your life is. Gives me hope. So thank you.

Take care