I've often felt I'm very strange for this, in that I don't even feel any strong feelings towards immediate family member and I always feel like something is wrong with me for it. I don't hate my parents or my sister or my two brothers, but for some reason I feel like I don't cary about them the way an immediate family should. What's wrong with me???

I would ask what makes you think you do not care for them properly now and how do you care for them? How do you think you should? Many times our perspective can be skewed.

I too have felt this most of my life. Is it afraid to love and be close or a matter that we were not shown love so therefore, we don't know how to give? Maybe, the natural bonding never took place as babes. Which, I feel might of happened with me. I've been hurt most of my life so therefore maybe a barrier is put up as a defense.
sunnydaze

The only person i feel really strong feelings for are my son and my roommate and her daughter. i have friends but these are the only really close ones. I feel I have been hurt a lot, even by family so trust is a big issue. I beleive this is a defense mechanism...in my case it is. It is a bit self defeating...like if i don't let them in than they can't hurt me and they won't yell or get mad. It does keep my life a bit calmer and peaceful...I cannot deal with any other stress than what I have going on right now so this just fits right now. I would love to be the happy, smiling, jovial, ready to have fun, help others but now I consider that another lifetime ago...that life is unattainable to me now.....so i have to learn to live a new way.

Nothing is wrong with any of us. We are just products of our upbringing and need to learn to feel-perhaps for the first time.

I only have the deep love a mother has for her child. Love, in relation to partners, or family, or sometimes friends is very rare to experience.

I totally agree with Sunnydaze...we weren't shown love when growing up, and are now inept to show it to others. I could never trust anyone in my family. And today that feeling overrides any "loving" emotions. I have a strong barrier in place. When I have any contact with my family, I wind up self harming. No explanations-I just feel so betrayed by them that I have no way to let out the pain, except towards myself

What I have been known to do in the past (several times), is, I will get close to a friend. Too close. She will start to see parts of me I don't want to share with anyone. Don't trust them. Then "poof"! I'm gone. I stop calling them, stop getting together, am always too busy to meet with them. Self defense mechanism goes into play. My family never had an interest in me personally, but when a friend starts to take interest-I run away. I have done that throughout my entire life.

It is only now that I have a couple of good friends that I have kept for longer than 5 years. And I cherish when they go out of town, so I don't have to talk to them. I have reignited a friendship with one of the women I pushed away 17 years ago-but I still keep my distance.

My son....my beautiful son is my saving grace. I am working on feeling closer to him and not revert back to my familial ways.

This is me, too. The only time I do feel strong feelings about anybody is the kids I teach--and that's probably because it's one-sided, where I get to be the teacher, protector, cheerleader, enforcer. I feel much more comfortable when I am not exposed, as in mutual relationships.

I agree with veiled.

Sometimes we're numb from trauma, just because we don't consciously feel it doesn't mean it's not there. Look back at your actions and your conversations... is there any evidence to support that you don't care for them?

When someone in my family is sick or in the hospital I don't feel a strong feeling, however my actions and decisions reflect that the emotion is there.
My mother used to scream bloody murder all the time, threaten to commit suicide. I guess I just went numb to that emotion.

My parents never acted like they were interested in me at all and I always felt like I couldn't meet their expectations. My dad especially acted uninterested in me to the point where I thought he didn't love me. Both my parents tried to get me to participate in activities other than what I was interested because they had their own ideas of what I should be doing. I was into sports in high school and both parents hounded me by saying I should be pursuing artistic endeavors and that I was wasting my artistic talent. Well, yeah, the reason I never pursued it is because I didn't want the pressure because they kept pressuring me into it. My brothers and sisters I never thought were interested in me either because they never called to talk to me specifically (they're much older than me and were out of the house by the time I started kindergarten). They'd always call to talk to my parents and they'd only talk of my mom asked if they wanted to talk to me. Man that used to make me so angry! And when I'd confront my mom about how come she'd never let me talk to my sister on the phone, she always defended herself by saying "but she's my daughter" ... "yeah but she's my sister" ... etc etc.

That's very true. Even though the feelings aren't there, my actions do show that I do care about them even though I don't feel it. Even when family members are sick, I don't feel anything, but I do act like I care about them with my actions.

"Deep down you may still be that same great kid you used to be. But it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you."
~Batman Begins

Just another way of looking at it. You're doing the right thing... and in the end, isn't that what matters?