Hiya everyone...

I feel so anxious right now...a major trigger just happened and my mind is doing overtime yet again.My partner arranged to come up this weekend ,he only lives an hour away.so i sterted making the usual plans that u do.Today at lunchtime i get a txt,would i mind if he doesnt come up,he wants to do stuff at home,my heart dropped to my stomach.....the anxiety started straight away.It is the " trust "thing here,just latley i have felt it has been me making the efffort to keep the relationship going,he never txts me anymore,he rings in the evening but i have to send a txt to say ring me tonight otherwise i dont think he would.he used to send me a txy every morning when we met some three months ago,since beginning of jan he hasnt sent one,well one asking me to bring something down with me when i came down.So no txts and now he doesnt want to come see me,am i over reaccting here or is he trying to tell me something,slowley like let me down gently over as period of time so that he thinks i will be less hurt??? please some one help me here i am going out of my mind..

Hi Cas, welcome. This is a great forum.
Take care, Morgan

No over reaction seen here, I am I, the way I see me is, I am born every morning and I die every night, plain and simple, no tomorrows, you had placed a hope in seeing him that was foiled.
Some people think ptsd is like a slight headache, and they do not know how to react when we need them to understand.
It is not their fault, plus I used to expect others to read my mind, how could they really, they have never ever walked in my shoes, and should be extremely lucky for that fact.
Let him know, if you can, that such little forgetfulnesses are very insulting and hurtful to you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,take it from there
Understanding from experience,
Donna-Lynne

thanks donna lynne

the worst did happen in more ways than one,i am absoloutly devastated,i think it is my ptsd that has caused all this to happen.. I caught him telling another lady ,(he didnt realize that it was me) he was speaking too... He told this lady i was a Fruitcake to possesive and wasnt chilled like him.. that was after he told her he didnt have a girlfriend.......so i am sure you can imagine how i am feeling right now........

How many times do you her a male or female describe a mate as a psycho, usually it's because that psycho has hit the nail on the head about the problems that person has.
Don't sweat the small stuff, no one has walked in your shoes, and if they did, they would appreciate you for who you are, like we do here in the forum.
I could care less who speaks about me behind my back, it does get back, but I don't care, I usually say, "at least they are leaving someone else alone,"
Hang in there hun, this is a place of safety and total understanding.
With much respect for you,
Donna-Lynne

hiya..

yes i am hagning on in there.....thanks for your kind words,i have got angry i have cried my anxiety has been so bad i feel wrapped up in tight elastic! what was this guy thinking about after all he knew what i had been through!!! he still fely it was ok to use and abuse me...... i am beginning to wonder who is the fruitcake!!! the word fruitcake is so detructive to me!! i am not mad.......................... i am a little delicate flower,my petals drop occasionaly thats all.............................

I love that image, now let your pedals grow back stronger; and yes, he sounds like the fruitcake, if you asked me.

Donna-Lynne

Yes a little flower is how i feel,delicate fragile,why would someone with the proffessional background he had (a social worker) tell a stranger i was a fruitcake...this is eating me up inside,it has hurt me so so much.........I just cant get the word out of my head!

That man has pushed me back so mich,i was doing so well....now i feel emptu again.......

Hi Cas...I feel for you. Something similar to this happened a few months ago after I opened up and took a chance. At that time I looked back and realized i was strong and had been through a lot worse....I deserved better too. I think you do to. Don't let this impede your healing. Don't let his words destroy you...replace them with I am a strong person....not even close to a fruitcake!

Hi pandora......
yes i know you are right,i deserve better,i know i do.I do believe this blip will pass,just take time for me to come to terms with his cruelty.I am strong,i have been through far worse than this,just need to keep beleiving..thankyou for your words

cas x