I have written before about seeing an exposure therapist for my car accidents.

This week he wanted me to talk about child abuse. I said I didn't have anything to say about it.

He then said "I will talk then" and proceeded to describe a scene where a child is in bed and hears footsteps outside the door and then hears someone come in and feels them come and sit on their bed. He says the child tries to stay still and pretends to be sleeping because they are worried about what is going to happen. He then started describing what was about to happen. I asked him to stop as it was really upsetting me. What he said is longer than what I described above but I think that gives the jest of it.

He said I wouldn't be upset if it hadn't had happened to me and that I needed to talk about it or I would never get well and that I would never have a normal relationship.

I have been reliving his story every day since he said it. It reminded me of my niece being molested by my ex husband and I feel so guilty that I never knew until the end and that I wasn't there for her. I seem to rapidly be going in a downward spiral now. The guilt is overwhelming right now.

It is very upsetting to me and I don't like these conversations.

Is it me? Has anyone been to exposure theraphy? Is this how it is supposed to work?

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated!

Thanks so much

Moey

Hello, this sounds very strange to me. Exposure therapy is supposed to mean that you gradually expose yourself to what ever your triggers are. For example, I had a bad car crash and I am now scared of car engine noises, screeching tyres etc. So for me, I need to listen to these sounds for a short period of time, gradually building up the time I can listen to them, Eventually they wont be scary anymore. I'm sure there's threads on here, try doing a search for it.

I have never heard of a therapist doing something like this. It is not their job to lead you along in that way. Coax you yes, but not shock you into saying stuff. The trouble with your ex may well be something you need to discuss but its seems wrong to go about it like this.

I'm a little confused. Was the reason that you told your therapist you had nothing to say about child abuse because you weren't abused, or because you were and aren't yet comfortable talking about it?

It seems like he's making assumptions that you were abused based on your reactions to his description of an abusive situation (a misstep on his part, in my opinion). It may clear things up if you become able to talk about the guilt you feel for your niece's abuse.

Given what you've said so far, this guy seems like a complete ****ing quack.

I forgot to say, yes exposure therapy it does work without a doubt, but not in the way you describe.

Moey,

I think it may be time for a new therapist. Exposure therapy is gently exposing you to something that is extremely painful(emotionally). It's done over a period of time with longer exposure each time.

Even if your therapist thinks there may have been some abuse, his/her approach is WRONG!!!!!!!

Yes, that is a form of exposure therapy and yes, exposure therapy is a therapy you must use a great deal off with healing trauma and learning how to manage PTSD symptoms. Fear is the largest source of PTSD symptoms. You endure trauma, so you become fearful of certain things. This fear grows and grows.... even talking about your feelings, you fear being exposed, someone using your feelings to hurt you and so forth. Fear must be dealt with to reduce symptoms, and the only way to deal with fear is to expose yourself to the problem.... hence, exposure therapy.

It comes in many shapes, forms and sizes. Reading this forum is a form of exposure therapy. You read others stories and experiences here, which will make you ill at first, though the longer you're here and the more you make yourself read those stories, you begin finding yourself no longer fearing reading those stories of similar nature, instead you develop empathy, an emotion, a good emotion, because you have moved beyond the fear to now feel once again.

That is what exposure therapy does. Fear is an emotion, a negative one at that. You move through the negative emotion to find the positive emotion. That is the essence to exposure therapy. The positive emotion could be joy, happiness, laughter, etc. You could fear going to a concert, all those people and crowds, yet when you do it over and over and mentally prepare yourself for it, you have a plan of attack, to patiently wait crowds to dissipate and so forth, you move beyond the fear of attending a concert to now finding enjoyment from it. Yes, it will make you ill the first few times, but the idea is to expose yourself and that brings symptomatic issues from doing so, though each time it becomes less and less until you look at what you once feared and wonder why you feared it in the first place, especially considering the joy it now brings you in positive emotion.

Exposure therapy I would even say is the proven most effective therapy of all kind to date.