Never before has it been made so evident how little I now about drugs. Sounds like there's a whole world of illegal experiences out there that I want absolutely nothing to do with.

I respect everyone's decisions and beliefs, but staying sane has been hard enough for me without drugs and binge drinking...

I think that people are doing the best that they can do to stay sane. But, good for you to have figured out an alternative.

About a year after my trauma had "ended," I was in college and my friends and I decided to try 'shrooms. I had done pot quite a bit in high school, and never had any real neg. effects. Anyway, the shrooms were a whole different story.

When they started taking effect, I didn't know where I was, and my brain started to re-live the trauma...but times 20! I tried to jump out the window--NOT b/c I wanted to commit suicide or anything--but I just needed "fresh air" and an escape...and (while on the drugs), I somehow thought this was a good option.

Luckily I had two amazing friends who got me through the night. I remember one friend trying to get me to recall "happy" memories, and this seemed to help. Unfortunately, the next day it was quite obvious that something was "wrong" with me, and many who had witnessed the scene on the dorm floor could figure out that I had been raped at some point in my life. At this time I wasn't ready for anyone to know about my past, not even my closest friends, yet I was pretty much forced to confront the situation.

So, that being said, I haven't done any (illeagal) drugs since, and I HIGHLY warn against them for anyone..esp. someone with PTSD!

nic

Illegal drugs, alcohol and PTSD are a recipe for disaster.
I've been there and done that. That little ride was as traumatic as anything else I've encountered.
By the way:
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6 years sobriety today!!!!!
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Congrats, Irs!!!

Hi, all...I am a new poster (very new -- today!) and noticed this question from nyc. I went through nearly a decade of regular pot use -- in middle age! I'm 49 now; stopped smoking pot about a month ago. I've found that it's both helped and hindered my well-being. Occasional use, IF in a safe setting and with mindful intention, can soften the mind and relieve the constant tension of racing thoughts...as well as heighten sensation, augment bodily delights (like music, taste, lovemaking, leaps of imagination and faith), and give verdant colour and depth to emotions. On the other hand...too much use, or use for escape, can produce numbness, loss of feeling, paranoia, and a lack of heart (not giving a damn about anyone or anything). Wise use is moderate and safe use. I haven't used -- nor would I -- any other substances; I would never smoke if feeling antsy or unsafe. My primary concern is being/staying sane...and marijuana is the only substance that seems to be safe to use -- that doesn't take over the mind. To use it during an experience of stress or trauma? -- No, I wouldn't. Pot, in my understanding, deepens whatever state of mind you're in when you injest it. As for healing...I have had some astounding revelations (as well as some "junk thoughts" that I chuckle over when I'm back to normal), profound conversations, and experiences of intimacy where my heart just opens right up and I truly feel at peace. Once, while showering with my husband (I was high; he wasn't -- he doesn't toke), we embraced heart-to-heart and I felt *cherished*. It was mind-blowing (in the best way). For now, though, I choose not to smoke 'cause I'm experiencing a recurrance of PTSD symptoms. Peace to you -- Roo.

Finally! Someone with a positive experience regarding pot. I'm glad that pot has assisted in your recovery, Roo. It works for some and not so much for others. I really wish the US would legalize it.

Best,
Rachel

Hi, Rachel...thanks for your kind words. I'm with you on legalization...of pot *only*. I live in Canada, where the laws have been a little looser (although the current government would like to legislate us back to the Dark Age). There's a physician who has a site online that is very informative. His name is Lester Grinspoon; here's a link to his site: http://www.marijuana-uses.com/ ... There seem to be three primary uses of marijuana: 1 -- recreational, 2 -- medicinal, and 3 -- inspirational. "Good" use to me is with a sacred intention -- I lived for two years (post-divorce) alone, and I would put beautiful music on the stereo, sit down with my journal, and write, write, write...sometimes what came out of me seemed to come from the gods...sometimes it was goofy fluff that had me scratching my head and giggling the next morning

I got into using far too much, though...and I became even more numb than I usually am. Interestingly, I never experienced flashbacks. If I go back to smoking, I will use only once or twice a week. I'm really concerned that even after 26 years of dealing with PTSD, I still feel so little -- my chronic distance from emotion might be something that is permanent...? I hope not...

Thanks so much for the welcome. -- Roo.

Pot is the only way I can get through each day, I had been severely hooked on benzo's and narcotics after the PTSD started, I just couldn't handle it but I have been "clean"
(I don't consider pot a drug because for me it is more medication if you know what i mean)for almost three years now. Pot is the only thing "I" can take because of my addictions to the pills, so if not for the weed I could not function.