I must admit I feel a bit of a twinge when I see some of the talk about therapists and doctors in here, and I almost feel guilty coming here. It makes me glad that I am still a student because in a way I feel somewhat off the hook... but... seeing how much trust and at the same time how little trust people have in what I chose to be always makes me nervous and question whether or not I will ever become one of those "bad" doctors. When someone opens up to me in the clinic, I am on the one hand honored that they felt they could do so... but on the other terrified that because I don't know them and because I lack experience I might say something that will hurt someone. I know that sometimes the sore throat is not the true reason someone is miserable when they come into the office or ER.

Thankfully, my school seems to teach mostly the right things and not the old schools of thought... we focus on patient directed care and Indiana is big on doing this "competency curriculum" where we're actually rated on how respectful we are behind the scenes.

Anyway, just to be clear, I am here as a sufferer, not a defender of the medical profession (in fact I agree with most things I've seen said).

But if any of you have any advice for me (I'm sure most of you have had way more experience being a patient than I've had caring for patients) I would love to hear it. Anything I can learn from real people that isn't in a textbook... those are the things I tend to value most.

Hi Lucky Laser,

The fact is, we all say the wrong thing sometimes, so it's a matter of being sensitive to and willing to listen to the feedback when that happens. Aiming for perfection gives me a headache!

Sounds to me like you have the best possible orientation to start out with...carry on! And take from the forum what you need...the rest of us will sort ourselves out as well.

DLRoss

Thanks Lucky,

It's nice to know a medical professional will be more interested in caring than their own careers. Try to stay that way, despite the inevitable setbacks of not being able to help some people.

Blaming the patient can be tempting and it's happened to me a lot, being one of the initial sufferers of Fibromyalgia before docs thought it was 'real.' It really was devastating to be 'written off' as it being just in my head. Let me tell you......my head certainly contributed to it, but the pain is terrible real.

I think docs sort of 'give up' and place boundaries on people they can't seem to help, they sort of abandon them emotionally, when sometimes being there emotionally is the best thing they could have ever possibly done.
Compassion is the best and most important quality in a doc.

I would think that actually LISTENING to your patient would do wonders. I hate those 3 minute office visits, where the dr looks at your chart while you are trying to tell him/her what's going on with you, and they just kind of go uh huh.......Pisses me right off when they don't look at you while you are talking.

That's one of the reasons I don't do dr's, but I will see a nurse practitioner.

Good luck with doc school (don't know if it is med school-psychiatrist or B.A./M.A./PhD- psychologist) at Indiana. My three sisters attended IU, and better luck in basketball next year.

Because I was molested by a doctor, I tend to be hostile and mistrusting of anyone in the medical profession, males more than females, but I did really like my therapist and feel mostly at ease in divulging information to him that other people might use to judge me. That was most important thing in helping me through my difficult times. He also understood that I did not want medication unless absolutely necessary, but I did use some narcotics for sleeping, which helped a ton. Lack of sleep can cause its own side effects. And he assured me that I wasn't crazy, although sometimes I'm not positive that he was right in that opinion.

I'm sure people will say many things about their therapists on this and other sites like it that they will never say to your face.

LuckyLaser, what's your specialty going to be?

Thanks for the advice everyone... listening is definitely a big thing. The school keeps quoting that statistic, that the patient talks on average 8-12 (or lower!) seconds before the doctor interrupts and starts setting his or her own agenda. Horrifying!

The scary thing for me right now is that when time becomes an issue, how will I be able to listen well? I wonder if it is okay to ask people to come back just to talk. I still don't know how the scheduling works; typically in the outpatient setting I've seen 15 minutes for each patient and 30 minutes for a new one. Half of that is charting and paperwork bullcrap. And they're still an hour behind by the end of the day and people feel forgotten.

One of the doctors I admire most right now is a breast cancer specialist and she goes through patients fairly quickly (more quickly than I would feel comfortable with myself) but somehow they all leave feeling as if they got special treatment. I think it has to do with the way she talks to and respects people.

That's really terrible you had to go through that with fibromyalgia... it is certainly very real. My Mom has been a chronic pain patient for over 20 years now so through her, I can understand those frustrations. She always has to worry about being labeled as a drug seeker and because of that puts up with way too much. Someone shouldn't have to be so afraid to get their pain under control.

I'm not sure yet but I'm leaning towards family medicine. I know that I need something that will give me both variety and most importantly a chance to follow up on people for a long time. I don't want to do ER work where I might never get to find out what happens to the people I treat, nor would I like to do surgery where most of my patient time is spent with them asleep. :p As I understand, there is also a great need for more family medicine physicians.

Lucky Laser,

Good luck to you. Be patient with yourself. In time, you will be a more efficient. Some things can only be learned through experience. Those docs that you admire, keep watching them and learning from them.

After ten years in emergency medicine, you'd think that I'd have more to share. Give me time to sift through my experiences, I know there are some meaningful, positive ones in there somewhere...

Until then, take care.
tude

Hi, Lucky Laser...Wow, I'm glad to read your posts. Bless you for the choices you're making.

It's so simple, really...how any of us can be present with others, regardless of our profession. I have been a psychotherapist in my working life, and the moments of authentic connection always seem to come when everything gets "dropped" for a moment -- roles, labels, surface things. When one person is simply kind to another.

My own physician is a gift. What makes him so? -- he is kind, respectful, quiet when I speak; he considers what I say; he looks with me at my whole life when considering my health; he and I share a hug at the end of each visit. He recently read a long letter that I wrote to him, and his challenges to some of my thinking always come with a moderate (balanced) attitude; he asks wise questions; if we disagree, or if I don't understand something, he takes the time to explore, examine, explain. He looks at me and sees me. He relates to me as a person, not a case. I know that he's often rushed; there's a shortage of doctors at the community health clinic he works at. He tends to look tired and harried (I'm seeing him every two weeks right now). He recently had to tackle prostate cancer...I believe that his own experience as a patient has just deepened his kindness towards the people he serves.

I can't stress enough how important kindness is. It's a way of approaching another...even when one's schedule is stuffed and the clock is forever ticking. I really feel for doctors...it can't be easy work within a system (I am making a general statement here...please forgive) that considers profit more important than people; a system that emphasizes disease management more than well-being.

It's the individual whose presence comes through everything else. What a difference that makes.

Best,

Roo