I guess my experience is a bit different than Evie's. I realize that I am pushing people away and will (sometimes) tell people that I need/want to be alone. Unfortunately I can't usually explain why so it must be equally frustrating for loved ones.

I agree with what Kathy said. I will add this... when I had PTSD uncontrolled I can read the personality disorder and fit near every criterion. Does that mean I had a personality disorder? No... and I certainly do not fit the criteria today. A diagnosis stems further than the theory criterion... it encompasses physical and behavioural attributes which are not covered in the theory diagnostic criteria. You CANNOT read a diagnosis and apply it to a person, because if you go and read most diagnosis you could fit them too most of sufferers with PTSD uncontrolled.

PTSD proves symptoms of many disorders, including personality disorders, but it is not that, it is what PTSD actually is. PTSD is not created equally..... PTSD is PTSD, however; the levels of symptoms and range of symptoms are different to each person and their trauma. This is why you must trust your professional that they truly know what they are talking about, and not just out to slap you with labels or just have no idea and under diagnose. I would even recommend people to always seek two professional opinions, if both match then you take the physician who best suits you and stick with them for medication checks, as that is all a shrink does after the diagnosis.... therapists do all the chit chat work.

I posted the comments about borderline personality disorder after reading this sentance:

My original intent was to point out that not all men who behave in this manner do so because they have PTSD, that this isn't a trend. It is a fallacy to assume that all men who are game playing jerks have PTSD.

He could be co-morbid (having more than one disorder). If he is co-morbid it is not surprising that the professional missed the second disorder. Also trained psychiatrists are human and prone to error, some of them more prone to error than others.

Regardless, I would not recommend being in a relationship with someone who is behaving like they have a personality disorder, whether they have a personality disorder or not.

Yes, professionals are human and prone to error, thus I agree with Anthony's suggestion to seek out a second opinion, especially if one has doubts. I often suggested such to my clients. However, I do also agree with Anthony that untreated PTSD encompasses aspects and symptoms of many disorders. My daughter with PTSD also displayed many aspects of a personality disorder when she was very ill, some aspects of schizophrenia as well, however she has neither disorder. Since being in treatment for PTSD, she no longer displays these symptoms.

Yes Kathy, I agree with you and Anthony as well.

Yep.

What made me think he could potentially be borderline wasn't the DSM-IV, it was my personal experience with people who who were diagnosed that way. It was never my intent to diagnose him, that would be foolish.

Well, you definately got me thinking about it. But, after reading Anthony's article explaining ptsd that Kathy recommended, I definately believe he has it. Especially considering the ptsd *can* be so many disorders all rolled up in one.

It's been two weeks, and still not a word from him. I'm starting to get really worried but it's unfortunately something I can really do nothing about.

thank you bat girl . you writing how you feel has helped me to see some of what my hubby is feeling. only thing is he says he hurts, and is in pain, physical, but will not seek help for it. I might sound selfish, but i am tired of hearing he is in so much pain, if he doesn't want to get help for it. I listen every time he says it, and everytime i say, well lets make a appt. he says , NO.

I don't believe that is selfish. It must be incredibly frustrating to deal with someone who refuses the help he so desperately needs.

he is consistently in pain. he did say to me today, after these classes, i am going to sick call (drs for non military) i said good, i hope you go. I want to push the issue, but i am not going to. he is a big boy, and if he is in that much pain, its bound to feel horrible and he will eventually go. i just hope sooner than later.

Thank you very much for your welcome Anthony.
I am living in the Netherlands (I am 33) and I have a boyfriend l (he is 37) living in Croatia. There is no need to tell you what has been going on out there during the mid nineties. As a former student of International Relations I have been much concerned with the war in Bosnia and Croatia. Don't ask me why, I just have been. To keep it for now as an introduction, my life has become a rollercoaster emotionally as I am just an ordinary girl loving a war veteran and ex-prisoner of war. Well, I could not do that if he did not love me as much as I love him. Ok, I speak the language as well..

I am here to learn and to talk, and to help, if I can. So far I have had a lot 'gosh, I know'.... moments when reading threads. Some of them made me cry because I know how the 'she' is feeling.

Sometimes I forget that my love has PTSD. I make the mistake thinking that I make a difference (and I do, I know, but I can't heal him). Besides, he is living in a country in which these guys have become no-ones. There is not much good support available. They are called Dogs of War and many of them are sent into forced retirement.

So that's why I am here. To see how others are doing and to learn from others.

After 1,5 year I know now what is PTSD (but still there is more).
For now, I will start reading your article which I just downloaded.

Thank you for this forum, it's great. Especially in my country you can't expect people to understand what it is like to love someone who has a wounded soul as a result of war and torture.