Hello everyone. I was diagnosed with PTSD well over a year ago when i got back from my second deployment to iraq. I have been seeing so many different counselors and taking so many different meds that i figured i should try something else. To give a little background on myself before i get started. I am a 22 year old male. I was born and raised in Evansville Indiana. I graduated high school, joined that army, and made a trip to Iraq all in 2003. I have been in the army for almost 5 years now and am with the 101st Airborne at FT. Campbell KY. I am an Infantryman which for those that dont know means i fight the ground battle. Now that that's out of the way i will tell my story (stories really). This will also be the first time i have told the full story to anyone besides a therapist.

I left for Iraq the first time Dec. 30th 2003. I was sent to Q-West Airbase just south of Mosul, Iraq. When i got there i was assigned to weapons squad. My squad leader was SSG. Christopher Schornak. I was only deployed this time for 6 weeks because the unit i was with had already done their full tour over there so it wasn't bad. I only had one close call and with what has happened to date i tend to tell this one as if it has no meaning what so ever. We were coming back from a patrol. As we were nearing the building that we stayed in a 107mm Rocket landed just in front of our truck and exploded. No bigge. No injuries or Fatalities. That was littereally the only thing that happened during my first deployment.

November 2005: Second Deployment. I can only remember the worst of stories and things that happened along with the number of roadside bombs i was eposed to. I dont know how many times i was in firefights because i dont think a number high enough to count it exists. I was hit by 19 roadside bombs. I am only going to type out the worst of events and things i can remember so that this post is somewhat managable to read. Anyways this time we were sent to Forward Operating Base Falcon in Baghdad. When we arrived we were all in high spirits and ready for the coming fight. At this time was our commanders Machine Gunner in his Humvee. Before we even got started with patrols or anything the Unit we were replacing lost a soldier when a mortar struck his position. We weren't even in country for a week and we were thrown a huge dose of reality. About a month went by uneventful until i was exposed to my first bomb. We were driving down one of the main roads in our sector and i was sitting in the back seat of the humvee. We were taking a commo guy out to fix a radio relay. As we were travelling down the road there was a loud explosion and then ringing in the ears and a headache. It took a second to realize what happened but once we did it wasn't that bad. I remember feeling so damn mad that someone literally just tried to kill me. Afterwards we were taken back to the base and checked out by medical personel. They said i had a minor concussion and needed some rest.

Later on February 26th 2006 my commander came and woke my friend and I and told us to get the truck ready, we had to escort a prisoner to the green zone. He also told us that during the incident that this guy was caught a US Soldier had been killed. When we get the Detainee and drive to the jail we were talking to the guys from the unit that lost the soldier. It was then that i found out the name of the Soldier that died. SSG. Christopher Schornak. My squad leader from the first deployment.

On one incident i was hit in the face with rocks when an IED detonated 3 feet from me. I also have a nice size piece of shrapnel in my right thigh from one. I had an enemy mortar come through my bedroom window on our base. I have been in so many firefights that i cant even remember them. They all seem to blur together in my memory. I remember finding so many kids and other people executed in the street that i dont remember specific events or dates. I just see the horrible looking bodies. if i had to take a guess on how many bodies i have seen i would put it at around 400. I know one specific day we found 47. One thing i dont talk about and never will are the people i have killed.

This is the end of my story for now. Thank you for listening. Attached is a picture of me.

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Welcome to the forum "Stuck", you really should start a diary and vent and vent somemore whenever needed. You should also go into the introductions and introduce yourself. Please don't feel badly if people don't respond to your post, it was a bit of a hard read and as you know we struggle with that. Also, its a very sad/triggering/upsetting read for some I am sure and a lose for words does happen.

Navigate around and learn, this place is awesome and you will get amazing support from fellow PTSD'ers, I hate to use the word "sufferers" as we can learn to control and minimize the suffering. Well, welcome and Thank You for what you are doing and have done serving in the military. I know that alot of people don't support this war, but I think we ALL agree that we support the Serviceman. Hope this site helps you as much as it has me and multiple others. T.

Welcome to the forum from a Desert Storm vet.

Thank you for your story and your service.

From an Afghan Vet.