Even before my accident I've seemed to battle depression. I see pictures of me as a five year old in school. My eyes are downcast and I know I was unhappy.

My first depression was probably about when I was eleven years old when my parents got married. The change of school and living with a man in the house was quite a struggle for me even though that man is one of my best defenders and is literally the father I never had (he adopted me when I was 12 years old).

No one in my family noticed problems with depression until I was fifteen when I had another episode. One of my stepbrothers had died in the line of duty that summer before and because of it I was angry and quite difficult to deal with.
Every time I have a depression I seem to come out of it without drugs. My problem is, as I age I notice depression is an ebb and flow thing for me. I'll be normal for a few days, then I'll feel depressed and anxious it's hard to function. A week or so later I can function again. This happens weather or not I have counseling too.

Many people in my family have suffered from depression. My mother has to keep taking Paxil to feel normal. My birth father killed himself as a result of depression. My maternal grandfather was most likely a self medicating alcoholic. I have at least four alcoholic/drug addicted cousins. My point I guess is that I seem to have a family history of this.

Those of you who have depression, is this normal? I'm beginning to wonder if I need drugs. I don't think I'm manic depressive because I don't have the mania. It just seems I'm battling depression more and more.

I would talk this over with your therapist...I do take a anti-depressant for the depression that is part of my PTSD....It would be a good idea to talk it over with a psychiatrist to get her/him opinion....getting opinions is important...then you can decide on the information...whether you decide to take a med is entirely up to you!!!...also if a med is recommended....check out the side effects....I often use this technique when making decisions...take a piece of paper..draw a line down the center....on one side put pro...on the other side put con...then fill it out...it helps me to see my options on paper!! With depression it's "normal" to feel "out of it" for just days or for a week or so....wildfirewildone....KEEPING THE PEACE

Hey. This is kind of how I am. I do take Wellbutrin XL solely for depression. It is the only symptom of PTSD that is not controlled yet without drugs. I believe that my depression started back in High School. In my sophomore year. And it was untreated until I had PTSD. My depression was just like you said. Like and ebb or tide. It's so gradual. My tides are longer than yours however. It'll take me several months to get low and several months to get back out.

I bet if you charted out your symptoms, you would see a big decline at the beginning, and then a gradual up slope. Then it'll even out again just half way up from where you started. This little platau may feel at the time like you're back on top of things, but you're only half way up. Then the next slop down will take you further down than the last dip, but you don't notice that... And so on until finally you can't get back up at all. This was so gradual for me...and it eventually took me about six months to be incompacitated. I couldn't get out of bed.

And now? I'm truly happy. My symptoms are under control with the normal mg. of Wellbutrin. I can get up at eight and feel good throughout the day without a nap and sleep soundly at night. So yes....see someone. Depression is so sneaky.....

Pookie, this is actually different now. You see, depression exists and is often labelled as one, when in actual fact, clinical depression is vastly different to the chemical depression those with PTSD often suffer. You have a family history of depression, which means it could be genetics, and not just a chemical imbalance causing depression as within PTSD itself.

I would honestly look into this further and discuss it with a depression expert. I would go look for a depression only resource and ask about your family history and how that affects you with PTSD. This is one time I will say, you may need medication because of the genetic history associated within your family.

Pookie, I am by no means an expert on the subject of meds. I know that for me meds have been both ablessing and a curse. I am currently on a medication cleanse because of a recent overdose and the number of meds I had been placed on in the past. (aprox. 35+). I would suggest that no matter what you do, do it with someones help and not on your own. I feel as if I sometims have been the queen of self-medicating--on again, off again medicating--this has proven to be disaster for me. Whatever you decide to do please make sure there is alot of support around you. Take Care and God Bless as you continue through this... thinking of and praying for you, if you don't mind.

hey pookie, hang in there. i have only had depression like this since the ptsd started. as a matter of fact, i was treated for 6 mo.s for depression, before being diagnosed with ptsd. mine does ebb and flow too, i take antidepressants, for now, but i can't wait to get off everything. it seems, as i have begun to heal, i am not depressed as badly for as long as before. the forum here has had a big part in that healing.