It is great that you realize its not about you, but her. I am sure your Appointment at the T will help to her to realize how she can say what she needs to in a less confrontational way. Not about a win or loose, its about partnership. Good for you for being so open to her pain.
It sounds like she trusts you alot, probably scared how to show it.
Beatings are just so wrong. my heart goes out to you all

I'm so sorry about that, what a punk.

Thanks Murphy, it's very hard for me to feel like it's not about me, because, well, I'm a guy...I screw up, say the wrong thing, make mistakes, you know...

But there was something she did differently that evening, she handled something in a very different way than she usually does and that made me feel like there was a storm brewing. I almost asked her about it because it was kind of out of character for her, but didn't want to put her on the defensive.

Then within a few minutes all hell broke loose and we were arguing about minor things. Not that I feel it's all her fault, but I should have been more cognizant when her routine changed the way it did.

These past couple of days have been incredible...I haven't seen her since the argument, but she's been extremely happy and feeling more like we belong together instead of angry about everything around her. This is the woman I fell madly in love with...

Maybe recognizing her triggers, or cycles, will make things different. Good for you. Men can be funny, trying to 'fix' things. Dont put so much pressure on yourself, sounds like you are doing great.
It's so nice to hear people talk about love. You know that feeling you are talking about? It being incredible? I would remember that feeling when things get a bit rough. Yup, take a moment and remember that. Powerful stuff.

Love it is a funny old thing, it comes and it goes....it is pushed along on the breeze and sometimes, just sometimes we inhale at just the right time and and love comes into us...........a different love than the love we already hold inside of us. It is a force of nature and it is a truly wonderful thing to behold!

Spirit x

Thanks everyone, yes, love is funny and strange. I think the argument helped us both learn a little about each other - and ourselves. I knew I loved her with all my heart, but it's very hard to judge what is acceptable and what isn't. I don't feel that either of us is completely to blame, but her stress and my stress combined made it difficult on each of us.

This past week, my g/f and I have spent a lot of time together and it's been nothing short of incredible. We are both very much in love and I think we now know just how much. We've only become stronger and have a much better awareness of when buttons can get pushed. Even though I don't want to say it was all her doing, she did tell me that some of the things I said to her held some truth and that she wanted to work on them. She's been awesome, and I've been much more relaxed around her ... not walking on eggshells like I was for a couple weeks there.

So I guess I have egg on my face for starting this thread the way I did, but I was very upset and I guess that was how I felt at the time. I can handle the PTSD, but when it all barrels down on me I have to raise the flag and surrender to myself first. She knows now that sometimes she can trigger emotions in me, too, and that my reaction is a defense mechanism and not an attack on her. I think she just wasn't used to having a guy so close to her, and her comfort zone was closing in on her. But she does tell me that she likes having me there, and that she trusts me fully. We've both been single for a while and are a little stubborn and set in our ways, but we are very good together, and others see it too.

We are both very happy now and I'm still in love with a very beautiful woman. Thanks to you all for the thoughts and encouragement, it helped me more than you can know!

Eggsactly :-)

No egg on your face lovely, you have scrambled brains :-)..What happened can and does happen in most relationships. You are both in new territory and your exploration will take you into new-found-land., and with this you will inevitably happen upon new feelings and expression of each other.

You did good!
You are good! And, accepting that you are not a superhero (well only on the weekends perhaps?), is very important, you cannot always carry her issues it has to be a shared thing. Your boundaries with each other are becoming clearer and more transparent as the days roll along. I am sure you will still have moments where they become blurred again, and that is Okay! As long as you are both honest and open!

So happy to share in your feelings!

Spirit x

Thank you so much Spirit. I tried to send you a message but I can't, so I hope you see this. I would like to get in touch with you, so if you wouldn't mind me bending your ear I have a question for you.

thanks again for all of your kind comments....