Well dont know how to begin. Just starting another sleepless night. camt sleep as ussual. A Little background about me. Im a Deputy Sheriff K9 Unit for the Menominee County Sheriff's Department in WI. Im a survivor of being shot in the line of duty. It's been three years now on May 25th.

After being diagnosed with ptsd. I didnt think that the incident effected my life as much as it did. Ie, job performance, home and family life and outlook on my future. I guess I was in denial. I finally decided its best if I seek some help for this. Was surfing the web and saw this site. Thought I would start typing and see how I feel after words.

I feel alienated at work. No one understands what Im going through when I put the uniform on each day and get back into my squad. After reading several of the post on this site I realized im not alone. Well thanks for to all for the posts.

Welcome to the forum. I don't know how you do it every day without reliving the shooting over and over. I wonder if your search for action regarding your PTSD is related to your anniversary in a few days. One of the effects of PTSD is feeling isolated and not understood as you will read over and over on this forum.

We have all found common ground to support one another because we understand the symptoms each other is living through and with on a daily basis. Something Anthony said a while back regarding this is that unless you have it how can you understand it. This is a valid point when it comes to discussing strategies to reduce symptoms.

What ways has the PTSD effected your home life and work life? Do you see yourself as totally different person after the event? What major changes have occurred for you in how you handle things socially and professionally?

With more information, we can help you to see or identify points to ponder.

Cindy

welcome mesok9unit
It is common place for the anniversary of your trauma, to trigger a reaction like insomnia. It's been 5 years for me, and I tend to have sleepness nights on the anniversary too. Never been a cop, but I understand the whole denial thing.... suppress it so you can function ie do your job, still earn a living, act "normal" "be strong" around your family/friends/coworkers.... stressful keeping up the act, huh? Been there. I understand, most of us do. Good luck and best wishes.
FightingLily

Welcome to the forum. I am new here as well and a fellow LEO. You are not alone, though if you are like me, you still feel that you are.

I believe that the hardest thing for those of us in law enforcement is to open up enough so that others can help us. We are the helpers, we are not used to being helped. I know our training makes us stuff it inside and keep it there. For me, keeping it inside just made me crawl into a bottle and ruin my marriage.

Like you, I functioned fairly well at work and just kept going. I didn't acknowledge the changes within myself though until my world came crashing down. I am now on the road to recovery.

Feeling alienated at work is common. As stated here previously, "if you don't have it, you can't understand it". Also with the typical LEO they don't want to acknowledge that they one day too could be in your shoes.

I hope that with the PTSD diagnosis you are now getting counselling. From what I have read here and experienced first hand, different strategies work for different people. It will take some time to sort out what is best for you.

Good luck in your journey Brother.