Returning to Place of Trauma

scarlette_crimson · #1 05-10-2006, 03:29 AM

I hav finally made up my mind as soon as I get up enough money I am going to return to the place of my crime and I hope it triggers the heck out of me becuse I am tired of not remembering everything at once.After all I am an adult now and no one can stop me but fear it self.It is my time to laugh in the face fear......

I am no longer ashamed of being afraid it's time for fear to become my usefull friend when needed and not my worse enemy.
I am so happy I can't wait to go.It 's gonna take a while before I do. But this is a promise to myself.It's time to break on through to the other side.If you know what I mean

Nam · #2 05-10-2006, 06:30 AM

Way to take control Scarlette. I'm hoping the best for you. I do want you to have some caution. I, myself have not remembered everything. There was a time when I wanted it to all come back at once because I wanted to deal with all of it. I realize now that my mind can only take so much and my memories only return when my mind feels it's ready. When you go, please take people that understand your trauma and understand your pain so they can be there for you. I wish you the very best! Keep us posted on that.

scarlette_crimson · #3 05-10-2006, 06:40 AM

As matter of fact I've been dying for my kids and other family to see where
I'm from....It is not going to be all about me but my suport will be with me I'll let you know how it goes..:biggrin:

veiled · #4 05-10-2006, 08:23 AM

Agreed with Nam use caution. Once you hit a trigger whether you want it to be all about you or not won't be the case. If you trigger yourself you will have it all about you as it will have negative effects you cannot control. But you go further up after the crash. Make sure you are ready and prepared for that crash afterwards, it is a bitch. It is a big jump to go poking a trigger and hard. I wish you the best of luck and only you know if you are ready. Good luck and keep us posted.

Miander · #5 05-10-2006, 09:39 AM

I think that's great, good for you SC! If you are panning to bring family, hopefully they will help keep you grounded...I too agree about being careful though, especially if you haven't been able to remember everything at once. You know people say that it's our way of protecting ourselves from things we can't handle.

scarlette_crimson · #6 05-10-2006, 11:18 AM

I just feel the ergency to know if you know what i Mean.One step I made recently that is getting me closer to an answer is I got inthe face of one of My monsters and told him I did not care any more what he had to say and that I was not afraid of him any more...... But as you well no he would not tell me a damb thing about what happen.Now if only I could get A hold of the Other one.That would feel so good...But the sad thing is the other one already lost It's weak little mined and probably nothing would register.Oh well what goes around comes around that is for certain. And just think it was not even by my own hand

..... I'm sorry but the one who I confronted stillthinks there is nothing wrong with him.He liked to stand over me in a stoic manner.And becuse he is so Boisterious My name for Him is Darth vader.:cuckoo: :angry-fla

cdunny · #7 05-10-2006, 04:15 PM

dang girl. I would definitely get the med situation under control before all that. I wish you the best of luck and I know you will be strong. But dont hurt yourself if you dont have to. WE are all here for you.

anthony · #8 05-10-2006, 05:54 PM

I guess I can only really say congratulations SC. You obviously feel you are at that time in your life when you need to do this, so goodluck. Please be careful and mindful, though I hope you get what you desire from doing this.

I look forward to hearing how it goes.