There are certain dates that are major triggers for me. For instance, I was raped on Thanksgiving, and my abusive, alcoholic stepfather's birthday was around the same time, so I'm always a tense, nervous wreck, at that time of year.

Today is the birthday of the stepbrother who molested me. I wish I didn't know that, but I cannot forget it. In less than a week, it's my mother's birthday. Both dates trigger me.

I'm trying to think of a way that I can make the day for me, and celebrate and revel in it, for me, instead of feeling anxious and angry. I'm having a hard time, because I'm in a lot of physical pain today (totally stress-related), and I don't know how to make myself feel good, about myself, or anything.

When I feel like this, I have a hard time finding hope or peace. I get lost in thought and I become distant to those around me. I don't want to feel this way, but I'm having a hard time pulling out of it.

Are others triggered by certain dates? If so, how do you cope?
If anybody has any suggestions about how I might make this a happy occasion for me, I would love to hear them.

Moonshadow,

There are certain dates that are triggers for me also, it starts around September and lasts through the holidays. September is the anniversary of my trauma and then it continues with anniversaries of when my best friends (yep plural) past away. What I do is give myself a lot of TLC and I give myself little treats like... getting my nails done, buying the beautiful flowers I've had my eye on, slippers that I don't need but look so cozy, soothing music CD. For some reason major purchases does not do the trick.

Hope it helps...

Sparky

I normally try to make the day busy as I can. The more I have to do, the less free time I will have to think about things. It normally works. Not the best plan though.

I hope you find something that works for you.