Hello everyone,

I was diagnosed with PTSD in March. Since March 4 different proffesionals have all diagnosed me the same, so I guess I can't argue what I have. There was inciden that happened 2/2/08 that has left me with PTSD. I have tried for the past 6 months in trying to get people to understand, all this has done is pushed them away. I have a wife that wants it to go away and a psychologists that I got from God. He is my only support system. I just returned to work on a half time basis. My work assured me that they had an open door, so I used that open door to educate HR staff and hope build a support system. That backfired to all the staff documenting every time we talked and now every time I breath, they are watching me. I found this site today and smiled inside, knowing that I can now talk to people that understand..

Welcome to you. I am so pleased that you have been able to find this forum. There are many here that will help you to understand and not judge you.

Welcome to the forum.....It is very hard for people that don't have PTSD to understand. Many try and are very good carers, but for the most part people just can't/don't understand PTSD.

yup! people are generally clueless. i am studying psychology and i was advised not to tell the administrators and professors about my disorder. PSYCHOLOGISTS for christ's sake! don't even get me started on the awkward exchanges i've had with friends. anything i say that is slightly provocative or criticizing of my friends (i.e. "maybe you shouldn't sleep with a married person") falls under the penumbra of PTSD. my thoughts, concerns, everyday behavior is scrutinized and categorized under PTSD. suddenly i've become totally invalidated. the funny thing is this disorder often gives you the authority to tell people what kind of behavior is harmful and what isn't. the upside of this disorder is that people with PTSD often have an extraordinary sense of compassion. i've become the friend, relative, and partner that i've always wanted inmy own life.
sorry for the reaction from coworkers. just remember even though you technically have a disorder, being totally clueless has yet to become a diagnosis and it's more them than it is you. good for you for joining the forum!

Welcome to the forum jsiems.

My first trauma was when i was 13 years old. I was sexually abused by a male cousin. I'll spare the details. It wasn't until 2 weeks ago, that I finally told somebody. I have been hiding that secret for 21 years. I have had years of pain and suffering. I still can not get the memories of the event out of my head. I have blamed myself, I have mislabeled myself, you name it, I've been there.
I was scared to have kids because I was afraid that maybe I may do that to them. Even though I could not do it and would never do it. Just sick thinking.

On Feb 2 08, I was involved in a staff assault where I work. An inmate was punching my partner in the head, I wrapped the inmate up to stop the punches thrown at him and so they would be directed to my body and not his head. I then blacked out. I woke up 30 yards from where it started, I was on the offenders back, no idea how I got there. I had the offender in a deadly force choke hold, my feet were off the ground, and he was slamming me into a glass wall. At that point I saw the brightest light I had ever seen, and the fear of not having any uncontrol, at that point I was convinced I was not going home to see my family. Life was over for me. I have been in a roller coaster of emotions since that day. I have tried to gain a support system, but it hasn 't worked. I have worked my tail off trying to have people understand. It has gotten me no where. The people that I use to consider my best friends, are now people that don't call. I see a psychologists once a week, a psychiatrist once every two weeks now, and Dr. monthly. I have had many days where I just wanted to have it end. There are days that I just want someone to share my pain for a split second.

I hope I can find some wisdom here that will assist me with this.

Welcome to the forums.

I tried posting the rest of my story, but it hasn't been put up yet?

Welcome, jsiems Hopefully in time your wife will become part of your support structure, but regardless there's lots of support here!

Please be patient... we try and approve posts as quickly as possible but sometimes there are delays if a moderator has not been online since you last posted. There is also a lot of moderation to do at times. We will check your posts as soon as reasonably possible.