Hi everyone,

I have suffered from PTSD since 2002 when I was involved in a workplace armed robbery. I have since suffered with daily anxiety and bouts of depression in between. I have not worked at all since 2005 and have managed to isolate myself so much that I have lost ALL of my friends. I have not been to the movies, a restaraunt, a social function, dinner, travelled, a party etc etc since that time. The only people I see on a daily basis are my husband whom I live with, mum and my treating doctors (GP and psychologist). I am on seroquel and xanax daily and still struggle with my high anxiety levels. I am seeing a pyschologist who sugggested a work trial in a ladies gym to help with exposure to settings I normally avoid. I have been diagnosed with somatoform disorder as I tend to seek medical help for physical symptoms which (apparently) do not exist. I feel like I cannot breath, I have a lump in my throat, fast/irregular heart beats, chest pains, sharp pains in my head and I panic at all and any physical symptoms. These mysteriously disappear after I have gone to the doctors and have their reassurance that it is just anxiety. They always seem to return!. I struggle to fall asleep at night and regularly resort to staying awake as long as I can and only fall asleep when I can no longer manage to keep my eyes open. I often wake up in a panicked state, disorientated and fearful due to nightmares and panic. I am so desperate to share this with people who have experienced the same or similar symptoms. Somtimes I think I am going mad and fear for my future. I am 34 years old and have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have been put through hell with this and we are waiting for me to get 'better' before we start a family. (no pressure!!!)......
On top of that, I have to deal with workers compensation (that is a whole other story). My home is my safety haven so imagine my shock and dismay when my husband said that this afternoon when he was washing his car, a man drove slowly past filming our home with a camcorder!. Who was he?.. Is it related to the people who held us up? Is it a private investigator for the insurance company? ..... I am so frightened and have no idea what to do. I am so glad to have come across this site. I feel better about sharing things with people who have lived this rather than sharing with people who can simply not relate to me at all. Thank you so much and sorry for the long story.

Taminga

Welcome to the forum Taminga!!!

Welcome to the forum... Fear, and anxiety are a part of PTSD, as are the sleep disorders, depression, isolation, ect.... You can get better, and have the things back in life that you have given up, but it takes time, effort and you will get a lot sicker before you get better.

Hang in there.......

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. It can get better.

Welcome!

The insurance company did that to me. It first increased my anxiety (a lot) and then made me mad. Do you think they intentially torcher people? I have choosen to stand up for my rights, not easy. To push through the fear and function, not easy! To create supports and make sure I have them in place (i.e. breathing ex., deep bath with bubbles, quiet space, fountians, people who are easy to listen to...).

Best wishes to you.

Tachiku

Dear Tachiku,

Thank you for your kind words and understanding. It helps to share with people who know first hand how it feels. Thanks for the relaxation suggestion, I have done a few relaxing meditations but usually panic with my eyes closed. I will give a spa a try and listening to relaxation music. I am not well at the moment as my husband has just gone to work on night shift. It's going to be a long night....... Thanks again, Take care

Taminga

Dear Kers,

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Taminga