Hi, I am a new member too. Hello to everyone.

Over the past few months the PTSD symptoms seems to be increasing which is quite scary. I am afraid of what this means for my life as it is affecting my relationships, my ability to work and study and my ability and desire to keep coping seems to be waning. I think I am giving myself over, it feels like I am giving up which is why I am here.

I need to hear from you if you have any novel ideas about keeping it all together and keeping a sense of humor through it ... i am getting entirely too dark and out of order for my own good :) I am not only scaring strangers on the street when I shout a loud 'no' at my triggers, I am also scaring my husband ... poor man doesn't know what has hit him when I want to bolt from the house or how to deal with the crazy angry woman he wakes up to in his bed!

I'm not sure how this site works yet or if I'm posting in the right place - technopeasant that I am. But I'm told I need to post to be 'activated' ... ok, so there it was ... ta da! my first post.

strength to you all!
Shiraz

welcome! this is the place to be for PTSD (hey that rhymes)

I'm sure you'll be amazed at the wealth of info and shared experience around here.

if you're worried about figuring out how this works take some time to "lurk" meaning read w/o posting!

Welcome to the forum

Hi there and welcome----

I hear you when you say you are becoming less and less interested in coping. That's the place I'm in too. Since I live alone it is easy to just drift through the day, not really functioning or taking care of myself.

One thing I've found really helps me----the only thing, in fact----is participating in something that I love doing. Now those have become very few and far between, and most of the things I used to enjoy now leave me cold. But I have noticed that I really perk up when I am able to do the few things that still get to me. For me they are:
- shopping for books
- learning how to do something new on the computer (I recently navigated my way through iTunes and bought myself an iPod Shuffle----they're very cheap)
- swimming in the lake at sunset or after dark. I am alone there and feel I am connecting with creation, and it is very peaceful.
- going to thrift stores / junk stores looking for neat things or clothes

I wonder if there is anything that you still like to do, that still brings out that "you" in you. Those are things to keep track of and to not let go of.

Rivergirl
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Welcome to the forum, Shriaz. You will find that there is heaps of information to read BUT also people that understand you. I look forward to sharing with you.

Hee hee hee...sounds familiar! Welcome to the forum, Shiraz.

Btw, are you perhaps working through some difficult stuff in therapy? Some of my symptoms have gotten much worse as I'm confronting the demons, so to speak. My therapist says she fully expects it to get worse before it gets better - she takes it as a good sign that we are zeroing in on the right stuff, and that my brain is really trying to deal with it. I am looking forward to them lessening, though (and some already have).

Hi Rally, angel, greencousegal .... nice to meet you ... thanks for stopping in to say hi ... smile. Thanks for the advice Rivergirl, sounds like you live in a beautiful place, I'll put together my own list of "must do's" and keep working through them - that sounds like a plan!

Hey Mina, you are right, working through some new stuff right now, so I guess I can expect bad before better. I am being triggered by everything and those memories I can't get at feel like they are just under the surface. My dreams are filled with emotional overload, but no images and I wake confused and angry ... about ... nothing it seems (thats the crazy woman in his bed bit). I tell myself to be patient - to just allow it to be in my space, but not make a meal out of it - so I just try to get on with my day. I do have some new memories popping up - i have been waiting for that for so long ... so, it is worth it and as you say ... it does get better - so much to look forward to then! (The crazy woman better not get too comfy) ... take care all and thanks for the com's :)

Hi all, thanks for the welcome!

It is so great to finally have a place where I feel like I belong and can hear how others get along. Just having read so many posts last week helped me so much and gave me some new insights about my own crazy behavior. I had to get off the forum for a couple of days though as there were too many triggers. All this adrenalin overload is freaking me out!

Rivergirl, thanks for the advice, I am making a list of 'things which make me feel more like me things to do' ... don't know why, but I just stopped doing them along the way.

Mina, thanks for the encouragement - yes I am working through so much right now, my memories are slowly returning, strange emotional ones with no visual context and some visual, but with no apparent relevance to the trauma ... hmmmm ..... at least that is how it seems.
Appreciated hearing from you all :)

Have a good week,
Shiraz