Hi all, glad to have found this group. I've been diagnosed with PTSD all my life since chilhood sexual abuse, was more managable until I left a very abusive relationship with a sick man who won't take meds. He threatened my life, abused me in all ways, played with my head and I escaped almost a year ago. I also lost my Dad last fall and graduated from college. I'm really struggling, ok so barely keeping my head above water but I'm here, looking for help in coping. I went into a state of shock for most of the fall, was actually doing better then although visably shaking. The fear of my ex has continued to grow to a point where paranioa is crushing down on me. I don't go places by myself, constantly looking for clues that he is coming for me. I got a protective order...ah, even typing this out is taking so much energy. I have made it to work every shift, even managed to get promoted but still not making ends meet. Every day is so hard, every task, so tired but can't sleep at night. I go to therapy weekly or biweekly depending on what I need to make it through, spending more on that than anything. Been considering checking into a hospital for some intensive care while I work through this, an hour session doesn't seem to do much but barely keep me afloat. Have an appt. this week for meds. I take Klonopin now, but probably too sparingly because I'm afraid of being addicted to them. I hate antidepressants but feel I don't have a choice at this point if I don't want to sink deeper :( I work very hard on this, reading, mediation, positive thoughts but fear it has grown bigger than I can handle now, and I can handle a lot.

Anyhow, hugs and love to all you out there dealing with this too (and the carers!!!!) Thanks for being here.

You are not alone. Even nearly 6 yrs later I am still afraid of the abusive ex. I was afraid with the protective order. It does ease with time and therapy is helpful. I am glad you didn't wait as long as I have.

Hang in there. You are not alone.

Hugs and welcome.

Bette

welcome Cyndi, and cheers for being strong and brave enough to seek out help now while you are young...Good for you!

Annie

Welcome to the forum Cyndi There is a lot of great information on here and a lot of people more than willing to help and answer any questions that you might have. I hope that the forum provides you support.

Best Wishes:
blue_eyed_angel