I am recently out of the military, since january that is. I was combat control-air traffic for 3 years, the c-130 aircrew for the last 3. Have had feet in dirt at least 7 times officially, and i have lost count of how many times unofficially. I have tried to pretend there is nothing wrong for far too long, i can't even look at the tv without a trigger popping up, just a map makes me thing of briefings and debriefings, and i have no clue what to do or how to stop it. all of my friends say i dont know what i am talking about and that there is nothing wrong with me, but none of them are with me when i am. i even catch myself arguing with myself, in my head and out loud, over whether or not i should be bothered by something or rather i should actually harm anyone that even looks at me. i want this all to stop, i cant even be loving to my girl, and i love her to death. this has already ruined my marriage, and is on its way to ruining my current relationship. the other day at work i broke a co workers thumb that grabbed me from behind, i dont know what to do. i just need this to stop, it has to stop

Hi fly. I am new as well. I just recently started counseling. My PTSD is trauma related rather than due to being in the military, so I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling and going through.

I do understand the frustration and wanting it to stop. Have you thought about therapy? It may help. Just an option to consider anyway.

Wishing you peace and comfort.

Bette

Welcome to the forum... I suggest that you read everything that you can on the forum in the information area. Ask questions, and most important, get into therapy if you aren't already.....

Welcome to the forum :)

Welcome!

Your "friends" are WRONG. They have no idea how tormented you feel.

Take it from a man that has tried and failed to handle it on his own---------get professional help from a PTSD specialist.

Tell us more about your situation and you should know that there are many vet's on this site who have had their feet in dirt as well.

Agreed....either your 'friends' are wayyy wrong OR they feel many of the same things but won't admit it. Stepping up and saying you need help takes balls....going on in a fog of crap, well...a lot of people live that way and die that way. Welcome... I admire your strength to serve your country and now yourself.

Dude I have been there but fortunately my wife dragged me in to the VA kicking and screaming. once I started learning about what the symptoms are I couldn't believe how much of my life was sucking because of it. Get to the nearest VA. OIF/OEF veterans are priority right now. they may be able to get you in as a walk in or it may take a week or so until they see you but it is generaly quicker than if you went to a civilian doctor. I have been going weekly for about 2 months and it has saved my marriage and life is getting better.

They are fond of saying there that PTSD is a terminal illness. either from eventual suicide or just the tool the stress takes on your body. either way you can't deal with it on your own because the way a person deals is to bury it. sooner or later it will come up as you have seen.

it's not easy to ask for help and even harder when they start asking you to get in touch with the feelings you've been stuffing down for so long but I am sure you'll be happy you got help.

FYI: Army deployed 2004 to 05 transportation/guntruck crew.

PS I had the privlage of flying on C130s over there. Not fun! especialy when I got to watch the tracers coming up as we landed into BIAP. Also combat landings make me sick!