I am going to see my therapist tomorrow and am contemplating asking him if we can start dealing with the issues. I will be in my last behaviour therapy group session today that the next step meets at a time that is not conveinant for me. WE put off getting into the nitty gritty parts of my PTSD until I have some firm ground to stand on. I feel I am doing ok now and want to move on but I am also getting less sleep each night. Some bad flash backs are hinduring my sleep. I know a week or so ago I talked of suicide but I feel I can not do that to my family and have faught through those thoughts. I am scared to move on but know I need to start sooner than later. I want to be able to get off of some meds. Tired of taking 5 different pills to keep me stable. Trilafon, enderal, periactin, Cogentin, and one more but I can not think of it. I'm greatful that these meds have stabalized me with out many side effects except for being tired 24/7. Would think it would nice to be on 2 pills as needed but I think I will be lucky if I'm on 2 pills on a regular basis. Last time I was on a SSRI I had a bad reaction and when I got off the pills I broke down and was hospitalized with some wild episodes of mania. Sorry to ramble so much just needed to get this out of my system today.:walking: :sleep:

Try not to be so hard on yourself PittBull! Deal with things as and when you feel ready and if you decide to face the hard stuff, make sure you have planned what you will do to make yourself feel better. Even THINKING about facing difficult stuff is a huge step, as I'm sure others here will tell you too.

Take care!

Pitt Bull,

I can't say for you what is best. But I am thinking taking on and talking about your issues will only do you good. When I kept it all in is when suicide was possible. The symptoms were more than out of control. When you can get to where you can talk about them more freely and not mess you up you know you are making progress and they do not eat you alive daily or as intensly as before.

I think it is great talking to the therapist about the issues, start working through them. That is what they are there for! See where the therapist thinks you are at and what would be good for you. It is normal for it to be scary and is a huge step. No one says you have to go too fast and it isn't good to do it too fast. But you do have to start some where.

Good luck and keep us posted how it goes and how you are feeling. You did a great job pulling yourself out of your slump and seeing it wasn't healthy and now you are ready to get the ball rolling. It will be hard but it is worth it and I think it is great.

Hey PB... huge kudos to you for getting yourself out and above that depressive state. I am serious pit bull... you really should give yourself some huge high fives for your efforts, because you did really well. We so often forget about ourselves, we forget to be kind to us, and reward ourselves when we do achieve. I am stoked your getting further into counselling... and I hope you get out of it what you need to get some stability, because you do deserve it, and have suffered greatly already. Please be kind to yourself PB... and remember, we are here for you anytime you need us.